so.....having had my melt down and jolly good cry yesterday, I feel a lot better today. Nothing has changed, obviously. I was up with The Boy at about 1 and that was us, awake. So ,I should feel weary (I do) but somehow the abject misery and feelings of hopeless uselessness which so over whelmed me yesterday have somewhat dissipated. I still grieve for that 'ordinariness' that many of the rest of our friends and acquaintances experience....but today, I am coping. It maybe helped that I read someone else's blog about coping on some days but not coping on others. It helped. Maybe I am ordinary...in a different sort of of ordinary way. Maybe our family is ordinary...in its own way. I don't know. I just know that today I am coping. For that I am grateful.