Saturday, 30 April 2016

Blogarhythms of life we are on a sunny morning with a three day weekend stretching out ahead..poor unsuspecting Jboy, condemned to three whole days of parental input!!!

So, what has been happening here? Well, yesterday the Iron Lady came. No. Not THAT one. That would just be weird. The nice one. The one who decimated my ironing pile into neat and sharply pressed shirts. Such a gem. Never has this house seen such well ironed clothes...well, not since a lovely chum took my ironing over when Jboy was a poorly baby and ironed for England on a weekly basis for many a month. Lovely chum.... You know who you are!!!! Can never thank you enough for the very much needed support at that time. Hugs.

What else? Well, the chunky deer , Mr and Mrs Chunky Deer to be precise,appeared yesterday evening for a nice evening snack of lilac, a morsel of rose, a chomp of tulips and finishing off with an amuse-bouche of bluebells. The garden is definitely resembling a deer park with bushes and trees nibbled to a certain height and tulips and now bluebells eaten down to mushy stumps. I am trying to be generous and deerly selfless but my smile is getting a little fixed now and is becoming more of a grimace as my garden disappears into the jaws of two clearly well fed deer.

In the bathroom where Jboy has his bath, we have a small mirror. One side is a normal mirror but the other is a scary giant mirror. Well, the mirror itself is an ordinary size but the image you see is HUGE. Normally, the mirror is set to the ordinary side but, for some reason this morning, it was on its giant setting. I did not know and unsuspectingly peered myopically into it only to find a giant eye staring back. Not only that but the eye was set in a face ,ploughed with lines. EEWW....what has happened to my face overnight???? Surely I still have the skin of a 26year old?? (The skin of someone LIKE a 26 year old not the actual skin of a 26 year old...that would be disgusting)No. It was definitely mine.  Clearly, the combination of my myopic eyes and the unmagnified nature of the normal mirror have led me in to a false sense of security.  Right.....where's the Polyfilla?????

Well, it is time to coax (that's a weird word.....) Jboy into doing something that we can all endure, I mean enjoy!!! HEE HEE.


The End

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Wednesday's chatterings

So....I know I can be stroppy. I know I can be stubborn.  I know I can be singleminded.  I apologise to all and any of you whom I may have offended in any way..especially through this anonymousish medium of the blog.
I used to be the shyest and most timid of people, blushing redder than a tomato at all times.(I know some of you who have seen me in full on performing mode might find this hard to believe...but 'tis true!!) I have found that I have got stroppier, more forthright over the years and especially when it comes to my children. I have had to stop many a medic or educator in Jboy's life to ask them exactly what they meant by one acronym after another.  Often they assumed I knew exactly what they meant because M was M and does the job he does. I didn't. It is SO important for parents to understand exactly what is going on with their child. If you don't understand...ASK!! It is your right, surely?????Or am I just being stroppy again? And, professionals, not everyone knows exactly what you mean..please spare a thought for us!! We're not stupid..we just aren't you.

It's a funny old thing..this life thing. This ageing thing. The silver haired old biddy who stares back at me from the mirror can't possibly be the same shy, retiring, wouldn't-say-boo-to-a-goose person that I was, surely???  But, yes. One and the same....and yet  strangely not. I suppose that life colours and shapes us as we go along. Much like a river will shape the landscape as it flows through. Perhaps that is where the idea of 'going with the flow' comes from. That shy person still does exist in me. She is still in there. She has just changed.

 I think that's how we do life...always changing and being shaped by experiences, people etc etc. There's that analogy of still water and moving water, one stagnates and the other is full of life and oxygen.

I choose the Captain from WallE  says, 'I don't want to just survive. I WANT TO LIVE' (maybe a slight paraphrase there!!) So I take my silver hair and my shyly hiding alter persona and splish splash splosh!

The End

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

gymtastic 2 I went to the gym to be induced..that doesn't sound that right?? Well, whatever happened, I was shown around the machinery in the gym bit and instructed as to how to use the things. Then I was let loose on the machines ALL BY MYSELF!! It wasn't as terrifying as I had expected..mainly because my lovely chum came with me this first time. She went off and did her own thing while I plodded up a small incline on the treadmill thing, cross-trained on the cross-trainer (I am hoping it will be in a better mood next time...hahaha), rode a static bike up a small hill and row, row, rowed a boat very gently down an imaginary stream.  I used up the calories equivalent to that of a banana which I quickly replenished on my return home. All in all, not as bad as I had thought it would be and certainly not bad enough to merit the 'exam' tummy I had earlier today when thinking of the whole event! In fact, I find myself looking forward to the next visit...weird!!!!! Now ,it is hailing outside and my washing is hanging forlornly and coldly on the line where moments before it had been blowing happily in the cool April I rush out and bring it in or leave it for a while? I can see a small patch of blue (enough to mend a sailor's pair of trousers as my mother used to say) which might herald a dry spell soon.....old wives tales, eh??

Jboy was on form today, amusing and amused, doing his own version of Tai Chi as he got into the bath and singing along-a musical toys (with his own drone like vocalisation..which is lovely as he doesn't vocalise much at all). Here's hoping he has a splendid day at the Most Marvellous Day Centre with all the marvellous peeps and , of course, the Right Bus!!

The End

Monday, 25 April 2016


So..courtesy of the MMSWW I have successfully managed to join the gym....what????Who am I??? What have I done???? whose idea was this anyway????  Mind you, joining the gym and then actually going to the gym are two different things.  I am sure I am suffering the same feelings as many people .... am I?? Tell me I am. I once was fit and strong but now I am older and weary...but I want to be older and stronger so that I can continue to wrestle with the Boy for as long as I need to, I can continue to care for him and hoick him about as he needs to be hoicked (is that a real word???)(Pause while I look it up...) (YES it IS a real word) See definition below:

Did You Know?

Etymologists suspect that "hoick" is an alteration of the verb "hike," which is itself akin to "hitch." "Hike" entered the language during the first decade of the 19th century, whereas "hoick" appeared near that century's close. The word hoick can be used for any type of abrupt pulling movement but is commonly used for the sudden pulling back on the joystick of an airplane; a rough, jerky movement when rowing; and a jerky, elevated shot in cricket. In fox hunting, the word hoicks is used to call attention to a hound that has picked up the scent and to bring the pack together.

oooh this blogging lark is SO educational!!!

I DO like words. Being a bit of linguist, I used to drive my children a bit mad by saying things like....'Oooh now that's interesting, this word means  xxxxxxx which is from the French/German xxxxxx, meaning xxxxxx. It has the same root'. Give us examples !!! I hear you cry.  Well, the word WINDOW is from the Norse word  'vindauga' meaning wind eye.....interesting!!!  (neither French nor German but interesting)Of course my mind has gone completely blank for other examples....(searches the deep recesses of the brain)...(nope...nothing there)

Anyway I need to be strong to be able to cope with my Boy who is not getting any smaller so tomorrow I shall venture forth to the Leisure Centre and put on my bravest hat and see what happens. This might be where I say, 'I am going out, I may be sometime'....WHAT HAVE I DONE?????

The End

Sunday, 24 April 2016

am I dreaming??

So...I was Parent on Duty this morning.  I had heard Jboy and had gone to him and was sorting him out when M poked me gently and said,'The Boy is awake'...weird!!!  I had been dreaming that I had heard him  and gone to him whereas in fact I was still cosy and snug in my bed. It was a most bizarre sensation.  I had had a similar experience when Jboy was a baby and newly home from hospital. We had had lessons on baby resuscitation (scary) and Jboy was issued with an apnoea monitor which ,if you are fortunate enough never to have come across ,is an instrument which told us when/if he stopped breathing. This was taped permanently to his little body and went everywhere with us. Once, I was walking home from school through the park with the Three when all of a sudden there was an alarming beep from within the pram. It was one of those old fashioned upright type prams that someone had kindly given us.  I ripped off the covers, heart pounding with fear while trying to maintain a calm front for the Three and exposed the poor wee chap to see if he was still with us or not. He was, The monitor had merely become detached.
I digress.... the awake/asleep episode was another weird moment...Jboy had the small room next to ours and one night I heard the sinister beeping from his room. I was completely exhausted (no change there then!!) and thought I had got out of bed and was with him in his room when I became aware that the beeping was still going on and I hadn't got out of bed at all..I was still there. I was now in  a panic that I had left it too long and that he might really have stopped breathing so I got out of bed and ran to his room. The beeping continued because I hadn't actually woken that time either....when, eventually I really DID wake up and really DID get to his room...the monitor had become detached and all was well with the Boy. It reminds me of the film with Leonardo di Caprio about dreams and levels of dreams possibly called Inception...I just didn't know what was real and what wasn't. Weird. M can actually wake himself up if he is having a bad dream. How does he know????  Dreams and sleep are interesting,..sometimes I have very busy dreams and wake up exhausted...sometimes I have lovely dreams and wake up all calm and serene. But I am not aware that I am dreaming, or if I am ,I am not aware that I am aware......or maybe it's just me. Oh well. All's well that end's well etc
The End

Saturday, 23 April 2016

just another sunny Saturday.....

So...the on-going saga of the Boy and the Garden Centre visit....this morning, having been awake with M for far too many hours to count, Jboy eventually consented to get into Velma (the car). Once in, we then had to decide where to go...the question wasn't really whether to go to a garden centre or not but rather 'which garden centre shall we go to?'. We decided on the far distant one with the library in the off we went. The sun was shining, Jboy was happy and we sang along to the cd...what a happy bunch. On arrival at the GC, along with 7million other people, M and I tried to meander around the flowery bit but Jboy evidently remembered the cafe with the books because he was a determined fellow and marched past the rows of roses, perfect pansies and verdant violas straight to the cafe where he took up residence on a sofa by the window where he could watch not only the children in the playground outside but the road beyond where many cars and the occasional tractor passed by. Tea imbibed, scone demolished, Jboy's own special gluten free/dairy free cake chomped and we were off to explore the flowers..or in Jboy's case, the aquarium where he gazed with wonder and interest at the Koi and other related piscine creatures. Was he waiting for a live re-enactment of Nemo, one wonders???? Once we had managed to encourage him away from the watery depths of the aquatic department, we found many an interesting plantette but being the sensible folk that we are, we resisted (most of) them. Then,almost as if Jboy had realised that nothing else was of interest to him, he rushed us through the checkouts and into awaiting Velma. On our way home, the sun was still shining, we saw a train cross at the level crossing(it was a Red Virgin train so Jboy was beyond excited) and, because it was still so warm and sunny,we decided to stop off at a pleasant nature area and go for a walk.....we arrived, we parked, Velma settled down for a nap but Jboy had decided that enough jollity for one day was indeed enough. He became the refusnik that we know and love. He got out of the car. But that was as far outside as he was prepared to go. No cajolling, no cake bribery, no encouraging could persuade him to do anything other than get back into Velma - so this we did and home we came.And here we are. Jboy has fallen asleep, M is in the garden and I am here, having a chat with you. Hope you have had a fab day.
I wonder what delights await us tomorrow!!
The End
PS sorry this is identical to a fb apols if you do FB as well!!!!

Friday, 22 April 2016

my Cornish childhood

 is another little autobiographical episode of life in Cornwall as I knew it.

I have mentioned that the village where I grew up was divided by a main road so that effectively we had a Top End and a Bottom End. The village was on a hill leading down to a river valley and had a long and slightly shady history involving smugglers and so forth (according to my dad). Until I was 9 or 10 I lived in the Top End of the village. This was a mysterious and wooded place, awash with bluebells and primroses in the Spring. There were quite a lot of 'big' houses at the Top End of the village (I didn't live in one) and the posh folk rubbed shoulders with us ordinary people...although it was the tail end of the doffing-of-the-cap era and I think my dad keenly felt the divide, whereas my brother and I certainly didn't least not in the same way. Near to where I lived. there was one house with extensive grounds (I believe this house is now part of a college) where we Top End children would spend many an hour, exploring the lush and exotic gardens. Locally we called it Happy Valley which has nothing to do with a TV programme of the same name!! I remember one plant in particular which was a giant rhubarb with leaves that were literally bigger than our dining table.  Also along this road was a cool, shady mysterious place called Come-To-Good where there was a Quaker meeting house.This place had such an atmosphere of calm and quiet that we were automatically silent as we passed by. It felt really other worldly here. The whole of the Top End had a woody, green feel to it which was quite different from the Bottom End.
People generally didn't move from one end to the other. It was as if we were moving to the far distant reaches of the earth. There were many more houses at the time in the Bottom End with lots of 'incomers'. The village had started to be a satellite village for the nearby towns, I think. Geographically, the Bottom End had more open spaces, fields and farms and was considerably less wooded. The village was draped down a hill which led to a river valley at the bottom where there had been mining of some sort since the 1700s. I believe many minerals had been mined here..certainly tin, copper, lead, some silver and zinc had all been literally unearthed over the centuries from this spot.  It was this river valley where I learned to gallop (on horseback. I knew how to gallop without a horse) and it was also here that I experienced a rather spectacular saddle slide.  Cantering along with a group of others from our local riding stables, I felt my saddle begin to move and then ,as if in slow motion, my saddle began to slide down  and around the horse and my world literally tilted on its axis!!! The horse I was riding (I think it was Timothy) slowed to a trot then eventually to a walk and finally stopped altogether. My fellow riders had continued on, oblivious to my sideways sliding  stunt but once they became aware that I was no longer with them they returned to find me in a crumpled and rather dazed heap at the feet/hooves of  Timothy, who was completely unmoved by my plight. Thankfully I wasn't injured, just embarrassed!
So we had the strange and unusual experience of living in both halves of the village. From the overwhelmingly cool and green Top to the open and wider Bottom , both beautiful in their own wild Cornish way.

 I haven't even begun to talk about the people in the village...or the history .... maybe I'll do that another time.

So, for now,
The End

PS  the viaduct at the beginning of this blogette crossed the river valley at the bottom and was always a source of great interest to us as children

Thursday, 21 April 2016

compost and cinnamon

So....M has a composting system at the bottom of our garden. He has three piles...year 1 which is where all new compost goes; year 2 is the slightly more composted compost and year 3 which is the compost I am allowed to use in the garden. He has an annual composting session when he does miraculous things and somehow enlarges the year three heap and diminishes the year one heap so we can start all over again. However he has not yet had time this year to do this amazing feat of transformation so today I did the unthinkable and bought some compost from the garden centre (which I visited without the accompanying Jboy!..yes I  AM allowed to go to garden centres on my own). We now have three most colourful tubs/containers of plants. After I had made them up I realised that all I was doing really was making easily accessible food for the deer...but .....NO!! I have some spray stuff from said garden centre which is designed to keep deer away. I am hoping it doesn't smell of something disgusting which might diminish somewhat our enjoyment of the pots!! I will let you know .(I expect you are waiting with breath bated)

I realise that I use a lot exclamation marks in my blogettes. I have always been an inveterate exclamation mark user. As one of my teachers at school once told me..'you are the only person who thinks that your written work is interesting enough to use as many exclamation marks as you do'. I was momentarily crushed but decided to ignore her and continue apace. She was called Thyra...probably had a secret chip on her shoulder and a grudge against anyone with an ordinary sounding name. In a book I have recently been reading the author claims that families/people can be described as 'sweet' or 'spicy'..she says that there are many overlapping qualities but generally,people lean towards one or the other. She claims that 'spicy' people have Enormous Feelings (use of capital. letters are ,in this instance ,hers) and their default setting is use of exclamation marks. So I guess that puts me in the spicy category! Cinnamon , I would like to think! (btw, the author has the FAB name of Jen that's a brilliant name)
So, off I go to fragrance the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The End

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Wednesday wonderings has come to my attention that yesterday I mentioned will nilly a 'card' which had not been loaded with golden pennies but failed to explain the very existence of this card! It is like a debit card issued to me by the MMSWW. I assumed, wrongly as it turned out, that it was wasn't. So the reason I couldn't book into the Leisure Centre was not entirely my incompetence but the lack of funds credited to the card. I should know by now that anything to do with the Soc Servs usually takes a LOOOONG time to get going....

.It was my turn to be Parent on Duty last night so I had the joy of experiencing the New Bed. Josh awoke at 2.30 and was pleased to introduce me to the comforts of his bed. It was very comfy....not quite comfy enough to keep him in it though. On the plus side, we found the WallE dvd which we thought had gone missing forever!! These early mornings are SOOO useful

The End

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

my own Mrs Tiggywinkle turns out that I am not such a dolt as I had thought.....the MMSWW phoned today....the card didn't work with the whole Leisure Centre thing because Soc Servs hadn't loaded it with the golden pennies that will enable me to swim (or something).All that angst and wringing of hands..and it wasn't me, after all. Phew!!   Phase one of Operation Rescue N and M has commenced.....a lovely lady came yesterday to do my ironing!! She paled slightly at the enormity of the basket and said, in rather subdued tones,'Well I wasn't expecting THAT!'. However, armed with my trusty iron and ancient wooden ironing board, she set to. In no time at all, she had subdued M's work trousers into pressed submission and removed crease upon crease from his work shirts. He is now surely wearing the best  pressed and flattened shirts in his place of work. What a gem.  the Most Marvellous Mrs Tiggywinkle of our modern day !(except  rather less prickly)

the end

Monday, 18 April 2016

when will I be wise???

So... there is as moment when you realise that there is less life left than before. My hands show the marks that I remember on my mother's face still takes me by surprise when I see it in a shop window or passing a mirror when I am not adequately  prepared and when rubbing the creams into my face which are supposed to stave off the ageing process, I find lines and grooves and indeed mighty chasms which surely weren't there yesterday!!  I know it happens to us all but why don't I feel any different inside?? When will I feel grown up? When will I be wise??  When I was in my 30's (just yesterday, surely)women of the age that I am now, seemed so sure and wise and knew what was what and which way was up.  The light is slowly dawning on me that maybe they were bluffing.....maybe they didn't have immaculate homes, perfect hair and ate delicious nutritious meals, prepared with a smile and not one drop of effort..maybe they were just like me....shocked at the way life has suddenly delivered them the blow of wrinkly hands and saggy knees. Actually, do you know what, today being an up day, I shall declare that I don't care about the wrinkles and the grooves in my face..I shall celebrate the silvery hair , the less than taut skin, the wobbly bits (sorry chaps).  I spent a long time waiting for the 'thing that I should be doing', the 'thing that I was made for' until I realised, some while ago, that the 'thing' is actually what I was doing...and that IS OK!!
So, today being an up day as I said, I shall skip off into the drizzle, taking my wrinkles and chasms with me to enjoy this day. To make the most of all that I can do and be, even if I am not wise or grown up.
So,may your day be full of the people and things you love and may we all celebrate who we are.

The End

Thursday, 14 April 2016

not invincible ....

So..part of this saw-toothed walk of life means that with the ups come the downs. Some days I feel strong and invincible and others, I can barely look a barista in the eye. The Most Marvellous Social Worker in the World has organised for me to be able to use our local Leisure order to do this, I have to go to the Leisure Centre and speak to a real person to get them to set up a standing order (or something) today, I gathered all my courage and put it on like a mantle then went along to the Leisure Centre to do the deed. Unfortunately the young lady at the reception desk had no idea what I was asking and referred me to the web-site. Crest a-fallen I came home and tried to do whatever it is I am supposed to do via the marvellous invention of the world wide refused to co-operate. I could feel the delicate fabric of my outer courage shell beginning to crumple with disappointment and my anxiety levels beginning to rise. What was I doing would I ever manage to go to the Leisure Centre etc etc etc??? I could have had gone into a downward spiral but I  went out for a walk instead. It helped. Clearly today was not an invincible day.

 It still takes me by surprise

The End.

I found this amusing little made me laugh!!!!


Wednesday, 13 April 2016

carer fatigue.... turns out that although our life is repetitive and predictable..hard time with Jboy, good time with Jboy...I am writing this blog for myself and if others find it boring then so be it.

This morning started for me at 1.37 (precisely) with my wake-up call from Jboy. His call involves him banging on his wooden bed headboard until a parent arrives and today that parent was me. I managed to persuade him that snuggling back down and having a sleep WAS a good idea which he thankfully did, with me in my duvet cocoon beside him. We rested thusly until it was morning enough to start the day proper.  From that moment on, he was Wild Thing. Things that weren't nailed down were thrown. His sports cup of water was sprayed liberally all over the floor. His breakfast cereal managed to reach places other breakfast cereals have not. He got in the bath but decided that it should be empty of water. He got out of the bath and decided that using his feet was the way to go..using his feet to knock things over, or touch my face (he was lying on the floor at this point for his dressing routine) or flip the toilet seat lid up and down....once out of the bathroom and dressed, he wanted his usual morning routine of Ben and Holly etc, but then decided that he didn't. He found M who was working at home and decided that 'helping' M was the thing to do. He did this by leaning on M's head and covering M's face with his (now thankfully clean) hands. He flipped the telephone off its neat little table about 8 times went like this...flips the phone, mother intervenes, Jboy runs away, phone restored mother follows, Jboy throws random toys around the place (inc into the coal bucket), mother retrieves toys from coal bucket while Jboy runs back to the phone and flips the phone...... At long last it was time to stand outside. We did. The Wrong Bus came. It was a white bus but it was the Wrong white bus. the Right white bus has gone back to the bus menders to be mended again. Jboy was not impressed. He did his fence shuffle and slide followed by the pavement roll. Still aching from his shenanigans of the other day, my shoulders wept in protest..or they would have done, had they eyes from which to weep. I was stuck. I needed M to come and help but couldn't leave Jboy to roll around unfettered on the pavement. The bus staff are not supposed to intervene so I was stuck between a rock and a hard we call him.. So I did what any modern person would do and got out my mobile(whilst still managing the Wild Boy) and dialled M's number. However, Jboy, noticing that my full attention was not on him, started to be even wilder. Phone abandoned, I continued to try to persuade him  to get on the bus. Then, in his virtual shining armour, my Knight arrived and helped to heave and actively 'persuade' Jboy that getting on the bus was the only proper thing to do. Reluctantly and not without further ado, Jboy was established on the bus, wrong as it was. Off he went.
Apparently, I have heard it tell, that there is such a thing as 'carer fatigue'...who would have thought it?????
The End

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

taking a bloggy break...maybe

So..I am aware that my posts are fairly repetitive really. Our life IS fairly repetitive but it doesn't make  interesting reading so I think I may take a break for a while.......thoughts???
The End

Monday, 11 April 2016

silent scream

So..we had a really hard weekend and I am struggling a bit to write anything positive about it. Jboy was such hard work this weekend. Whenever M and I had a moment to breathe, we sat in exhausted silence, unable to get our mouths round any words. There is no rhyme nor reason as to why Jboy was in such an oppositional frame of mind. He just was. It was one of those times that, when we DID manage to get him out and about, we felt completely alone in a  vast sea of people. If you have never felt that, then I am truly glad for you. If you have experienced that feeling , then you can understand how we were feeling. I think the image of the 'Silent Scream' accurately represents how we felt....screaming silently in our struggles as the world continued to turn and time continued to tick away. Jboy ....who knows if he knew that he was being the Boy from Beyond?? Who knows what he was thinking, experiencing, feeling? I don't know the answers. I do know, though, that it was hard. Very hard. We emerged from the weekend feeling battered and weary...however today is another day.
Onward and upwards, as they say.
The End

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Carpe Diem

So..inspired by someone I don't know in real life, just in virtual life, I am celebrating the fact that another week has successfully come to an end. I have managed to feed my crew and not poison them, not once, I have managed to make sure there was enough toilet roll, I have kept their clothes clean, I have managed to get up every day, I have managed to go for a short walk every day, I haven't bought any books, I haven't gone completely loopy, I have finished reading a jolly good book, I have thought about writing a book (then I fell about laughing), so I have laughed, I have sent cards to various peeps, I have done some instant gardening, I have done a lot of thinking...if you break a week down like that, into manageable bits, it feels like I have done a lot. People say to me 'what do you DO all day?' and I am frequently flummoxed. I haven't saved the world..but I have done some recycling so I have done my bit towards saving the world. I haven't saved anyone's life..but I have encouraged where needed (and been encouraged too!!)So, the someone who is my virtual friend has reminded me that it's the little things, the little successes, the little victories that serve to keep the machinery of every day living going. Keep me going too. I DID have a day this week when I wanted to crawl back under the duvet and wake up next week....but I didn't. I got up. That feels like a victory to me. A little victory. But a victory none the less!

 The buzz word of the moment....'mindfulness' , being in the moment, the Power of Now (that's a book by Eckhart Tolle)all boil down to 'this is the day...rejoice and be glad in it'.
I'm trying...and sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't. I know, I know, I have banged on about this apologies.

 Seize the Day and all that!!!!!
The End

Friday, 8 April 2016

Scenes of a bucolic nature

So.. I was driving through the beautiful English countryside today. The sun was shining and the rolling hills and fields stretched out in a bucolic scene. It was a splendid day. One of Spring's finest. It is interesting how a day like today can cause one's mood to lighten and soar. Maybe it is an ancient thing....light after the cold, dark, gloomy days of Winter. There are societies where Spring is celebrated with festivals and singing. Likewise Summer and then harvest and ,I believe, in Sweden there is a celebration of Autumn before their cold Winter sets in. Sounds quite fun.  Maybe the lightened mood is as simple as vitamin D hitting the spot after being so covered in coats, hats, scarves etc?  Personally, I am not one who thrives in intense heat but I do like a nice bit of sunshine.  Jboy cannot regulate his temperature,It is part of his condition. So, in the intense heat, he gets really ,really hot and we have to be very careful to keep him cool enough and make sure he has enough to drink. In the cold, he will go blue without realising that he is cold so again we have to monitor him well. Yet another aspect of living with the Boy that we no longer think about but do naturally.
The scenes of bucolic beauty were marred only by the sight of badgers corpses along the verges..I counted at least 4. I am getting used to the sight of the enormous wind turbines which seem to be popping up all over the place. There was a veritable forest of them en route today. Quite a sight. They still do look a little alien to me , like something from science fiction.....except ,of course, they are now science fact. I saw several birds of prey overhead too (possibly looking at the badger corpses!!). It all suddenly felt very ancient. Imagine all the people who have lived and worked in this countryside. What did they do? Who were they? Generations upon generations. I love those fields which still bear witness to ancient farming...ridge and furrow. Ordinary people living ordinary lives but leaving a lasting impact on our countryside. 

What will our impact be I wonder????

Thursday, 7 April 2016

Thursday's drivel is a useful tool for communication. It is something which we humans have and other species do not( I am happy to be corrected if this is not the case) but it can also be a stumbling block for some of us.....there is a shop in the town where I live which has a name so grammatically incorrect that I cannot bear to go in there, nor even look at  the shop as I pass. I was sharing my intense discomfort and dislike of this shop's name with my lovely chum today. She confessed that there is another shop in the same small town with a name so vomit-inducing, she cannot bear to pass it by. What is in a name? If you hear of someone called Ethel or Gunther, do you have a mental image of what that person might be like? Do you think we become like our names? If someone is called Grace, would we expect them to be graceful? My tired mind is going down a path to which there is no visible end so I shall make one.# (that approximates a gate)
 There is no answer to the shop-name conundrum..if indeed a conundrum it is. It is merely an observation. Jboy has no such problems. His understanding of the spoken language is limited and simple and his understanding of sign language similarly simple. He cannot speak yet makes himself understood (mostly). He signs about 15 consistent signs which he has either adapted from Makaton or invented himself by observing. There are times when he cannot make himself understood and this must be very frustrating for him. I wonder how he feels about it. I wonder what his brain could reveal, if we were able to get inside and see how it works. Maybe one day someone will invent an app for that!!!
What a thought
The End

P.S. I have just been reminded about the film 'Inside Out'.......interesting......

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

thought it was too good to be true......

So....thought it might be too good to be true. The Most Marvellous Social Worker in the World has been working away on our behalf, trying to put things into place to help only to find that someone has moved the goal posts. Yes....the powers that be have decided that the rules have changed, as of last week. More forms to fill in. More hoops to jump through. More proof needed. She has just phoned. She is more disappointed than me. She is fantastic and helpful and has done her research but she is a new and eager MMSW..she hasn't yet reached the state of jaded acceptance that I have seen in many a Social Worker as they try to help but find that their hands are tied to a brick wall(mixed metaphors I know). So, the new rules now mean that the 7hours of help may not be is all down to money, of course. Or lack thereof. I understand. If the money isn't there, it isn't there. I was just so sad to hear the tone of her voice...I can almost feel the disillusionment settling in. Comes to something when the person who needs the help is comforting the person who is supposed to be giving it! But it's ok..the ironing is still going to be done!!!! Phew!!!
The End

Jboy and the difficult day or the communication situation

So....yesterday the MMDC had a taste of difficult Jboy. I'm sure they see this side of him from time to time but yesterday he was very, very stubborn...or so it was reported to me.  He returned home yesterday with extremely muddy clothes and a filthy coat. There was nothing written in the communication book so I assumed, wrongly as it turned out, that he had had a nice walk around some muddy fields and maybe had slipped over. I had warned them that Jboy was in a playful mood yesterday...the sort of morning when he emptied the bathwater as soon as he had got in, once out of the bath, he threw things across the room and while I was restoring order, poured water from his sports bottle everywhere...that sort of morning . Today, when the Right Bus arrived with the Right Bus driver , the driver looked at me and said....'He was a right (BLANK)yesterday!' I must have looked puzzled. 'What did they say in his book?'he asked. 'Nothing,'I replied. Then the driver went on to explain that the MMDC had taken Jboy and a small party of peeps out to a local aerodrome, normally one of Jboy's most favourite places to be. On arrival, it had taken them half an hour to persuade Jboy to get out of the bus. On reflection, this was maybe an indication as  to his willingness to participate in the day's activity.  Once out of the bus, Jboy flung himself to the ground and rolled around in the mud refusing to go anywhere or do anything until they acquiesced and allowed him back on the bus, whereupon he resumed a sunny demeanour. I have been that adult, trying to get him to do something he clearly does NOT want to do. From this side of the situation, I can chuckle to myself and say, sympathetically,'Ahhh he was just showing his choices....' and 'His choices must be respected'. It is an entirely different kettle of proverbial fish when one is in the situation with Jboy, trying to get him to do something he clearly does not want to do.  Some times one can acquiesce to the Boy but sometimes he just has to do whatever it is we are trying to get him to get in the car to go home etc. It is SO hard. I know he is making his choices BUT he really doesn't understand the full impact of those choices. Nor does he understand that sometimes a chap just has to do what is asked of him. It is at times like this , that his lack of understanding and inability to process information/communication reach a crescendo. It is at times like this that, as a parent, one's inner reserves of patience are sharply tested and depleted. I have great admiration for the MMDC who appear to keep their cool at all times. When M and I have moments like this, whichever one of us has been dealing with Jboy usually needs a moment to gather themself together. We are the embodiment of those little figures that come in and go out ,you know, the ones said to be able to predict the weather. When one of us copes, the other doesn't. I wonder what sort of day he has had today???????
It was soon all be revealed as he is due home at any moment........
The End

Monday, 4 April 2016

saw toothed walk

So..the marvellous social worker has set everything in motion for help with both the house and Jboy....which is tremendously FABULOUS AND AMAZING. She has had the funding approved and everything.  It is why do I feel so scared?? On thinking about it, I think it is because we have been doing everything for SOOOOO long that it just feels immense to let someone else take over..even just for 7 hours a week. I am fine with the whole ironing thing...will I clean up before the cleaner comes though????? (No)But what about the Jboy thing? M and I were talking about it at the weekend and we both feel a bit scared. What if the person doesn't like Jboy? What if Jboy doesn't like the person? M said...who will we be if we are not caring for the Boy????? It is scarily thrilling. It is weird, worrying and yet wonderful all at the same time.  I have heard of life described as a 'saw-toothed' walk (...with all those ups and downs...and possibly sharp edges) and it feels like that at the moment.We are both up and down ,minute by minute. I am SO thrilled to have the prospect of help  but also terrified at the same time....weird, eh??? (No pleasing some people) (I AM pleased..just a bit timid/tremulous..and also a smidge terrified!!!) I know, I will get used to it..the first step is the hardest and all that....gulp.
The End.....(oh no it isn't!!)

busy busy busy

So..I have been blogless for a few days...not for any reason other than I have been being a busy me.
I drove through the English countryside, survived a diversion around Birmingham, arrived in a most beauteous part of the world ,watched my girl dancing (went a bit teary), drove home again. The next day, M and I were taken for a merry walk by Jboy into our town. He wasn't happy about coming home so I had to deploy the sandwich song and dance routine..which worked a treat.  THEN I took my girl back to her place of dwelling and bought her a whole shop of groceries to keep her fuelled for her dancing. On Sunday we visited our first born and her marvellous offspring and had a splendid day. Jboy was most reluctant to leave and put up one of his best passive/aggressive fights yet...we were heard to mutter..'one day we will be too old for this' we drove into the sunset. So, kept buoyant by the promise of help at some point in the not too distant future(we hope), we have remained jolly and positively positive, despite sleepless nights and rather explosive incidents of the nappy kind (say no more). And today I am having delivery of a new cooker so I can cook Jboy's potatoes efficiently! He will be pleased!
So blogless but not forgotten
The End

Later(taken from FB) my new cooker was delivered. Yes, I am in possession of a spankingly clean cooker upon and within which I can create the most marvellous of culinary delights. (HA!!)(waits for the roars of laughter to die down). Sadly, the sensational red cooker upon which my little heart has been set for many a long year was beyond our financial reach so I have a shiny aluminium beast, looking only a little out of place in my piney kitchen.Jboy will no doubt comment in his own particular way at the shiny aluminummy newness of the beast but as long it cooks his potato, I doubt he will complain. Talking of potatoes, my head has felt a little like a potato these past few days, solid and full of carbohydrate. This may ,of course , explain the following.......M had a parcel delivered at the weekend which contained a pair of very exciting telescopic garden shears(you can tell that our lives are a height of excitement by the things which thrill us...). Within the box, was a pair of summery clogs which funnily enough fit my feet exactly....almost as if I had ordered them at the same time. ;-) (I did, whispers)(well, they were a would have been a shame not to..) Maybe I shall go to the Ball....once the potatoes are done to a turn , of course
The End