So....the assisted/independent living for my Boy is, as they say, 'orf'.

Why? When? How?

Your guess is as good as mine.

I know , via the unofficial grapevine, that the company involved in finding, maintaining, staffing the property had been in difficulties but ,officially, 'the assisted living is unable to proceed at this time'.

That's what we know.

It is a mixed wotsit. While our weary, worn-out, waning bodies are crying out for rest, our parental minds heave a sigh of relief that we won't have to watch him from a distance.

It is SUCH a mental struggle.

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch, M is now 4 weeks into his rest/redundancy/retirement. The hedges have never been so trimmed, trees never so lopped, woodstore never so full, my pantry never so tidy(now I can't find a thing..it may have looked chaotic but it was MY chaos and I knew exactly where everything was)(not that I mind) (I do, a bit) (I suggested that , in return, I 'sort' his garage/shed in my fashion....he laughed, knowing I would never be bothered enough to do it....) nor the Charity Shop so full of our gubbins.

Again, a mixed wotsit.

At the Bookface, life  is gathering momentum as we race towards the festive season. I was granted permission to be Christmassally explosive in the kids' Christmas window...oh ,we had such plans...then the PowersthatBe decided that this year we are going subtle..pared back...minimal.

😪

(Rudolph, cancel the animatronic reindeer,  the full size sleigh and the snow)

 ....it's ok..they were never in the plan but we have had to rethink the whole thing.


So..
time to get on with the day

Thanks for reading,  caring enough to get thus far.

The End

Octoboy

So....I realise that it is not October but I have called this little outpouring 'octoboy' for the other reason...he currently encompasses me at every available opportunity, using what I am convinced are at least 8 limbs. That is ,at any rate, how it feels!!

Thus, I have been struggling with Russian grammar, enjoying the challenge of Anna Karenina, watching the mind-numbingly repetitious nature of children's tv, preparing potatoes and generally doing life, all with the added 'bonus' of Octoboy, wrapped around me. Walking is tricky, I tell you that!

 (Incidentally, no one tells you how boring and mind-grindingly dull it can be. Do I dare admit that? Dare admit that caring for a chap with profound and multiple learning difficulties can be boring? When we aren't chasing him, stopping him from destroying himself, others or stuff, it is crushingly dreary.)

There. What a terrible person I am. Or am I just being honest? After nearly 31 years, I think I might have a little authority and knowledge.....

So, with Octoboy about my person, I am away to empty the washing machine (3rd load of the day)...good job I can still be jolly!!!!😉

The End

September stuff

So.....the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness is upon us. An Autumnal chill has crept up, taking us unawares. Even the air smells different.

I know lots of people aren’t keen..but I love it.

I have been hesitating in writing this blogette as a whole because I became worried that I would upset people..but, do you know what?? If someone doesn’t like my musings, they can stop reading...just saying.

So...today I had lunch with a lovely chum. Munching my deliciously dressed salad, I noticed a wriggle. Yes, I was the recipient of a free caterpillar. Bonus? Not really. I returned the caterpillar, small though it was, along with its leaf to the counter and on paying the bill I said that I hoped I was getting some kind of discount with the caterpillar. My beverage was free, as was that of my lovely chum. So that’s something.....I have been trying not to think that I may have ingested other beasties without spotting them. I am trying to think like Bear Grylls, it’s all protein ,after all. 🥴

At the weekend, in one of our many garden centre visits, the Boy spotted a singing Christmas dog. He was thrilled. Delighted. Joyous. He clutched said singing dog to his bosom, marching around the garden centre with it. We were therefore duty bound to buy it...HE HAS BEEN PLAYING IT EVER SINCE. We are into our third set of batteries. He even tried to take it on the Right Bus this morning ...I had to draw the line at that...I sat it on the stairs where it awaited his return. It is playing now. Again. My teeth are gritted.

At the Bookface, things are apparently a-changing. Reviews are almost upon us , with new and so called improved systems in place to document our contributions to the business....I have no documentation but I shall cite the various things which I do to aid the great whirring of the corporate wheels. I shall enjoy doing that. (My strop is on....)

In other news though, my on-line Russian tutor is currently taking me through Anna Karenina which is one of my favourite books of all time so I am a happy bunny. 🐇

Talking of animals, the deer have been busy. They have munched their way through all the hostas in our garden. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with hostas . They always seemed a bit dull to me but now that I have , I have been enjoying their variegated leaves and lush greeness....so, however, have the deer. We are now left with stumps, which nestle alongside the stumps of rose bushes which sit alongside the badger toilets that have been so neatly dug in the flower beds.....🦌🦡

(Yes, I have started Christmas shopping..let’s be honest, I started ages ago!...Ho Ho Ho!!! And I don’t even care what anyone says...it is what I do. )

So,  whatever you feel about the onset of Autumn, have a lovely one.

The End
🍁🍂

End of August musings

So....here, in our little Midlands town, the schools have returned. We break up for Summer early (the factory fortnight tradition lingers, even without the factories) and return before the Summer has properly had a chance to come to an end.

My walk to town takes me past a primary school which has, of course , been sleepily silent for weeks. As of yesterday, it has been once again teeming with small bodies and their care givers. Today , I encountered two such small bodies, sobbing as if their lives were in peril. The first was dressed in the uniform of the school, little stick legs peering out from the end of shorts which were very long, shoes as yet unscuffed, enormous rucksack on his back and with a parent, trying desperately to persuade said child that school is not an option. He was leaking from every visible orifice, face the colour of a ripe tomato, clearly not keen to enter the hallowed gates of learning.

Approximately 20 paces further on, I encountered another small child. This child was not in uniform. She was sitting on the pavement with a carer , trying desperately to persuade her to move, in close attendance. I heard , as I walked past, that THIS child was desperate to enter the very gates that the aforementioned child was loudly rejecting.  It seemed, from the snippet which I heard in passing, that an older sibling was at the school and the younger one clearly felt that she should be too.

Oh, how I felt for both parents. ...and all the others, leaving the school gates, some white and anxious, probably first termers, and others skipping off to the nearest coffee shop, glee in their very footsteps.

I wanted to scoop up the white faced ones and tell them that it gets easier...kind of. Mostly.

I wanted to tell all of them to enjoy their littles, that one day their fridges will be so devoid of stuff that they can tidy it (guess what I did on my day off yesterday)...so to savour the time that they have with their littles as well as the time without. I am clearly turning into an old wife (as in old wives tales) (who knew????). There are a lot of things I wish I had done differently with ours..(.sorry, Offspring, for all the times I was preoccupied or inattentive.)..Thankfully they have turned into rather marvellous grownups , despite that.

Work at the Bookface has been full on, with Christmas stock arriving..yes you read that right, CHRISTMAS STOCK. I had an instruction from on high to get the advent calendars out before Monday...of course, everyone needs to get their advent calendars in September.....so that happened today. The argument from the powers that be is that by starting now, we will be less overwhelmed as the months slide toward Christmas...it just means that we can’t move behind the scenes for about 4 months...I put a notice up saying, ‘Ho!Ho!Ho!’...😁🎅🤶and am awaiting the response from both staff and customers.

So, on that festive note, I shall away as the Boy has returned from the MMDC.

Merry August musings

The End

Hot and bothered

so..it’s been one of the hottest bank holiday weekends ...apparently.

It has certainly been very hot.

What does a Boy like to do best on a baking hot day?? Cuddle his mummy very closely...obviously. He has been so hot and so bothered but unable to link the heat with the cuddle with the botheredness. He just knows he feels uncomfortable and needs to cuddle his care givers, exceptionally closely and without end, to ease that feeling of discomfort within himself.

I understand all that. I really do.

But as a mere human being, I have found it a very difficult weekend to be honest. As the day drew on, I needed to have a moment’s space, without a Boy entangled about my person. M encouraged me to go out for a walk....Which I did. So, thanks for that, M.

That was yesterday. Isn't it amazing the difference 24 hours can make??

Yesterday I felt that I was drowning.

I felt lost and uncontrollably low.

Yesterday was not a day I did well.

Today, nothing new, nothing different, same heat, same cuddling Boy but today I am coping. Phew.

Three day weekend..means three different garden centres. Today's visit was to one of our faves..they have just opened a farm shop where you can take your own container and buy all sorts of dry goods....exciting stuff!!! They have a great selection of locally grown veg too, locally made bread and locally reared meat. ...plus pies, cheeses etc etc

We have local meat cooking as we speak...mmmm

Now we are home, entangled in a hot heap, watching Ice Age. 😅

Incidentally, as we drove through the rolling countryside towards the garden centre today, we noticed that some of the trees are beginning, ever so slightly, to change colour. Autumn is a-coming. Sorry, all you Summerphiles....

AHA...The Boy has fallen asleep. I wonder if I can extract myself from his vice like grip....I shall try.

The End

Wednesday whiff

So....it is Wednesday, that traditionally dull day which is neither the beginning nor the end of a week (confession...I quite like Wednesdays..the word is very pleasing in itself as it rolls about the mouth in a most satisfactory way, I find)...it is Wednesday and what more could a mother ask than to be stuck in a bathroom with their Boy as he watches his favourite programme (long spin since you ask)(and ,yes, our washing machine lives in the bathroom)(it is a downstairs bathroom). Long spin on repeat,no less. Oh joy.

It is for the endless long spin watches and Boy obsession for said machine ..oh and the constant washing...that we rent our washing machine...we get through very many. Very, very many

So..we have been in here For Some Time....I have cleaned the bathroom, sparkled the taps, straightened the towels(ok so I didn't do that last one) within an inch of its life.BTW I have been using vinegar to clean for years..so ,move over, Mrs Hinch...now I am sitting, waiting for the latest spin to have spun so we can embark on the next stage of the day...The Pavement Wait.

Our lovely bus chum is on holiday(how very dare she have a life????)(we miss you,L)so we have had a variety of people to help with the Boy in the mornings. He is not impressed...all powers of persuasion will need to be employed which may not be easy today as I feel my brain has been numbed by the constant gurgle and whirr of the washing machine and also maybe pickled by the vinegar fumes (I don't normally have to sit in the room after I have vinegared it...🤢)

But
It
Is
Time

Pavement , here we come, wafting our vinegar whiff as we go...😁😁

Wish me luck.
The End

PS. Yesterday ,at the Bookface, a lady came in for a present for her autistic son. After a lengthy conversation, it transpired that she needed a chat more than a present. I remember that need...just to talk to someone. Hope I fulfilled that for her.

PPS It was the wrong driver today too...we had to have several attempts to get on the bus....but managed in the end.

 Phew

more of the same....

So....how has life been???

In a fit of decluttering(yes, really) we took about 9 bags of stuff to the charity shop over the weekend. Oh yes, we did. Some might say that you would never know it, to look at our house, still stuffed to the gunnels but WE know that stuff has gone...and that’s the main thing, right??

While unearthing gubbins from far distant corners and long unopened cupboards, I found some toys which Jboy had enjoyed as a little fellow. He was delighted to see them and spent many a minute instructing us to play with them while he watched. He wouldn’t actually play himself but liked to see us having fun....I tried to sneak some out of the house but he very determinedly brought them back into the house. However, they will be going, when he isn't looking!!!

M is on the count down to the end of work as he knows it...he is both excited and anxious in equal parts at the moment. He spent last week on an enforced week off so that he could use up holiday leave..he had a lovely time in the garden , chopping and pruning and other gardeny pursuits. After this, he was enthusing about all that he might do in the garden, come Autumn.  (I also have a list of jobs in the house that he can do......mwahahahaha)

At the weekend, one without the Boy, we went to our lovely friends’ house and sat about ,eating and drinking, like an ordinary couple might. It is always a novelty, not having to be 100% vigilant, not having to chase after the Boy or sit ,wrangling whilst trying to conduct a grown up conversation. They fed and watered us rather magnificently...we even had cheese galore!!!...before meandering home. Thank you, lovely chums.

We are guinea pig sitting. The Boy likes almost nothing better than sitting beside the cage, watching the little piggy chap as he snuffles and munches his way through his weight in carrots, cucumber and other healthy piggly delights. The piggly even enjoyed M’s company last week as M sawed wood in the garage where the piggly is currently residing. Apparently they had some long chats. A bit of bonding went on, I believe.

I met a former neighbour in town this morning who was asking about the Boy. I told her about the putative plans for his future. She said all the right things,was positive and encouraging and I KNOW it is the Right thing in the long term for the Boy but it still makes me feel a bit sick at the thought. She put an interesting perspective on it...said she knew of a couple with a chap with significant needs whom they kept at home until first one, then the other parent went the way of us all. The son was then plunged into a whole new life very swiftly. She, the ex-neighbour, said that she felt that the parents had been rather selfish in the end. For the son, he lost both parents, his home and all that was familiar. If they had been brave enough to help him transition earlier, said the ex-neighbour, his life would not have rocked so violently and painfully. Something to think on.

As the thunders rolls and the potato cooks gently, I shall away to enjoy a moment or three, lost in the pages of my current book, before the wrangling begins again.

TTFN

The End

A big picture person

So.....at the Bookface,during the Summer holiday,  we have had activities and crafts for kids...a different theme each week....this is our penultimate week.

Where did THAT time go?

It hasn't quite panned out as I had envisaged, with one of us being creative and arty, reading engaging theme related stories while doting parents gaze on in delight and joy, purchasing armfuls of books as they depart...ah well. I had forgotten that we wouldn't really have the staff capacity, let alone the physical shop space capacity for such an ambitious imagine.

Thats always been my problem..if a problem it is.....I see the grand sweep of the picture, without the nitty, gritty detailing.

In one of my former lives, I was part of a team  making large fabric banners. Someone would say,"We would like a picture of..."They would name the thing, my brain would go into overdrive, I would engage my limited artistic skills, produce an image and then hand it to a marvellous group of people who could transform a crude drawing into a magnificent work of art, using fabric and sewing skills, the like of which held me in awe.

The memory of which still does.

In our marriage, I am generally the big picture person, with M patiently filling in the detail.

Bookface. Banner design. Marriage.

Thanks all of you for enabling me to be me as I grandly sweep through life, swishing my metaphorical cloak as I go.

That's it.

The End.

Summertime......and the living is......sometimes quite hard 😁

So...in the past I have spoken of the darkness which can overwhelm me during the Summer..the time when all is warmth(SOMETIMES) and light. It is also the time of long days which the Boy insists we spend inside and hot nights which the Boy insists on sharing closely with us. 

Sometimes the Black Dog just arrives...and refuses to tell me why he has arrived  and refuses leave me alone. It's a puzzle.

However, this year, the Boy went away to the MostMarvellousRespiteCentre for a day or two so, for the first time in a while, we packed our bags and M and I went off on a bit of a jolly. 

Very jolly it was too.

During the Boy's absence, my back recovered and my chest muscles revived ...YAY...he's been back about 24 hours and so have my normal chestal and spinal conditions. BOO.

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted!!

😂

He was very glad to be home. He has been firmly attached to one parent or the other since his return. It is currently my turn. M has escaped into the garden to do vital gardening jobs.

We are watching IceAge2...again.😱

Plus ça change....

The good news is that the MMRC got his food right...no choking, no wrong food(it might have helped that I sent a week's worth of provisions in....),all in all .....positive.

HOOBLOOMINGRAH!!!!

The End

Ps the flowers in the photo at the top snook into bloom while we were away. Ain't nature grand?

Life and stuff...

So...the all night sleeping was a singelton....sadly. As we suspected.

 On the other hand, it happened, giving M a brief respite from the nightly wranglings.

 So...hurrah!!

On my way into town today, I passed the cottage hospital where the Boy was born all those years ago.  I pass it almost daily but the reason I noted it in particular today was that it is being demolished, even as we speak  ,and I was suddenly overcome with some of the feelings I had when the Boy arrived.

The plan had been....have the baby, M would bring the Others in and it would all be lovely.

It didn't go to plan.

The Boy decided to be born in the middle of the night..as babies often seem to. We called on our lovely chum to sit with the Others and M drove me,with me sitting on dustbin sacks..just in case. We arrived and moments later, so did the Boy.

Literally, moments.

And so began the ...I feel I should say 'nightmare'but that would in no way be fair to the Boy who is challenging, indeed, delightful and demanding. HE is not a nightmare but the times were certainly nightmarish as problem after problem became manifest.

He was rushed from the cosy ,friendly cottage hospital to the nearest huge,impersonal but well-equipped Special Care Baby Unit where his 9lbs 8oz rosy form was inserted into a crib intended mostly for tiny premature chaps.

And so it unfurled....life with The Boy began.

Those feelings,  anxiety, fear, despair grief (that the baby I thought I was having was a different baby altogether)and innumerable other HUGE feelings washed over me and took me somewhat by surprise as I passed the shell that is now that hospital. 

So I am having a sit and a think before I continue with the excitement that surely awaits me in Sainsbury's!!!

Anyway..life and stuff  happens.

Happy Thursday.

The End

He slept...

So...when M and I both woke up in the same place this morning we were surprised, shocked and then, of course, anxious.

Was the Boy ok???

Had he woken in the night, wrecked the place and then fallen asleep in the rubble?

The only way to find out was to go and see. M threw on his clothes and ventured forth to investigate.....dramatic pause....all was well.

This is the second time in the last two months that he has slept all night.

Our excitement is mounting.....Could we be turning a corner? Could sleep be just peeping at us from that corner?

Can we contain our excitement??

I think we can.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The End

Gardencentretastic

So....another weekend. Another set of visits to 2 of the glorious garden centres within an hour of our home.

We have isolated a selection of garden centres which we visit on a loosely rotational basis every weekend. It is what the Boy will do without much of a fight or protest. He is particularly fond of the garden centres with fish and or small creatures which we try to stop him from terrorising.....after all, who wants to buy a traumatised guinea pig??

Yesterday was our all time fave...it is practically perfect in every way. If I had one negative, it would be the quality of the coffee which is tolerable only because the quality of the rest of the place outweighs it.

M and I have determined that  during this year we are only going to buy one plant per month and then only plants which are in flower or have interesting leaf colours. We have been quite good thus far. Quite good.

Today's delight is a garden centre which we have found sells excellent plants and has an adequate cafe and which opens early on a Sunday...and this is ,for us, a massive point in its favour.  We managed to emerge, plantless. A feat of almost superhuman effort on our part!

Then we took a very scenic route home which entertained the Boy no end and which passed time for us so that the rest of the day did not seem so long. )M and the Boy are still suffering somewhat from their incredibly early start yesterday.)

However, another jolly weekend was had by all.

Hurrah.

The End

Saturday again

so...M was PoD last night as he has been for many a month due to the fact that my back is still not robust enough to take the wrangling required to care adequately for the Boy during the long reaches and watches of the night.

I awoke to a message from him on our FApp..the family App...which indicated, with M’s usual wit and flare, that he and the Boy has been awake, basically since 1.30am. Despite repeated encouragement from M that they should try to go to sleep,the Boy remained resolutely awake.

So, as I creaked  out of bed at 5.30, back twinging/twinging , I fought with the guilt of someone who had been asleep, gloriously and luxuriously until 5.30, without wrangle or scratch.

 Thoughts swirled........Should I endeavour to take my turn once again as PoD??? What if it sets my back off onto a worse trajectory.....?????? Oh dilemma.



Downstairs, all was relative calm.

No sign of destruction other than the fact that The Boy had emptied my bag...clearly he felt that the old receipts in the bottom were surplus to requirements and had rummaged until he found them all. What a helpful fellow.

I tried , then, to take over from M but the Boy would have little of it... he changed now in full marauding mode....nowhere and nothing was safe. Breakfast on the run takes on a different meaning these days...yoghurt sloshing, tea spilling, I moved at speed behind the Boy as he whirlwinded his way though the downstairs aspect of our house. He can move quite fast for someone who can’t move very well at all!!!

It is now 815ish and we are about to set out for a garden centre, in the hope that a second breakfast and a little walk might calm him......

M is a marvel.

Please tell him when you see him.

Thank you.

The End

Vintage...

So..apparently vintage is a good thing. Vintage clothes, vintage cars,  vintage wine etc....all good. Deemed valuable or quirky or desirable.

What about people though? I was looking at my skin today (one has to do something on one's day off) and was once again surprised at its ...shall we say, lack of youthful springy smoothness!

When did i become so reptilian??? 😱

Talking with a lovely chum today, we were chatting about something which happened a long time ago.....but which feels like the other day!! Where did that time go??

I now understand my parents' preoccupation with The War because for them, it wasn't the ancient history that it was for me. It was just the other day to them. I wish I could tell them that I now understand...sorry ,mum and dad!

However, I haven't spent the day chatting and staring at myself....No! I have also been making things out of paper plates...dinosaur masks (not masks FOR dinosaurs,you understand,but rather for children to disguise themselves cunningly,  with the aid of a paper plate,AS dinosaurs), similarly bear masks, alien heads and jelly fish...all in the name of work!

I have spent a goodly part of the afternoon, surrounded by a morass of card, paper, straws(paper, of course), paper plates, pens and sellotape.

In my element!

You see, at the Bookface, we shall be hosting jolly (well, that is our hope) sessions,  centering on a different theme each week with stories and activities for children....such as making masks etc. See???? It all falls into place.

So....I may have vintage and reptilian skin, but I have the soul of an 8 year old!

Hurrah!

The End

Someone's knocking on my door.....

So...people and front doors, eh? 😱

That seems to be what The Boy thinks.

Now then...I like a nice postal delivery as much as anyone else in these modern times. For me , it is often a nice surprise because I have forgotten that I had ordered X, Y or Z...

...when it was the run up to Melody Maid's wedding, the post person seemed to be delivering ribbons or bibbons for weeks in advance. Things to decorate the tables, reception, the cake, me.... it was all very exciting.

For me.

For The Boy , it was terrifying.

You see, he  has a full-blown panic, whenever someone knocks at the door.

I guess it is the unknown. The unexpected. The unpredictable....and therefore, the scary. The terrifying.  The threatening.

I try to prepare him when I know that someone is expected...I tell him that someone is coming to see us, that they will have a cup of tea and a chat and that it isn't scary and everything will be ok.  Even then, when he hears the knock on the door  he often flings himself ,and anything moveable within reach, around the room. As a result of this behaviour, we try to ensure that the mantlepiece is clear, the surfaces are empty, there are no cups within reach etc.

So, when I don't know that someone is arriving, or if the postman brings something that won't fit in the letterbox and the knock on the door sounds, the Boy goes wild. He hammers himself on the head, goes into full blown panic and is ,quite frankly, terrified AND terrifying. If I am within reach, I am often the object of his fear...which means my hair is pulled, my glasses can be thrown......you know ,the usual.

On Saturday, we were expecting visitors. I had tried to prepare the Boy as much as humanly possible. When the knock came, he was quite flustered but when it turned out NOT to be our visitors rather a delivery man instead, he morphed into a caged animal. He was wild eyed, frantic, furious, scared...he ran into the kitchen where,in his anxiety,  he swept the contents of the spice shelf to the floor. Coriander, cumin and cinnamon went flying, mingling with nutmeg, cloves and everything else.

To be honest,  the smell was  lovely....but it was not so lovely to see.

It was a spicy massacre.

When our visitors arrived  the Boy and I were still flustered....which was unfortunate because the visitors were M's cousin and his wife whom I had never met. M and the said cousin had been close as children but then , due to geography and the fact that life happened ,they didn't see each again until M's dad's funeral last year which I couldn't attend as we had no one else to look after the Boy.  So this was to be our first meeting.

 As you can imagine, I wanted to be calm, cool and collected. Turns out, I was flustered and flushed.

They, the cousin and his delightful.wife, were lovely people.

Just as well.



Took me and the Boy a while to regain our equilibrium!

So....There is nothing I can do to help him when the unexpected happens because, well, the unexpected is by definition unexpected!

I wish I COULD help. I wish I could ease his anxiety. Explain.  All we can do is do what we can do. No one can do more than that.

Can they?

The End

Hoturday

So....the Saturday which has just passed was the hottest day this year so far (not a difficult record to beat this year) and the Boy was not impressed.

My Boy doesn't regulate  his temperature very well so when the weather is cold, he is very ,very cold..often blue. Similarly, when the weather is hot, he gets very,very hot. As with the weekend just passed, the weather was very, very hot...as a consequence the Boy found it unbearable. We spent quite a lot of the day trying to cool him down, administering cool beverages, removing as much clothing as decency and he allowed, keeping him in the shade...etc. Not an easy task as he has a mind of his own and once placed in an optimum cool place, more often than not  he decided to find something else to do, somewhere else.

I tried enticing him,siren-like,with water play but he preferred to direct the hose onto the windows, the wind chimes, his father...anything but himself.

He wouldn't eat, unless it was cake.

 He could not settle to any visual entertainment, demanding whatever wasn't on to be on until it was then demanding that it wasn't.

He insisted on close cuddling..which meant that whichever of us had been Chosen, soon became hotter and more bothered than usual...

Oh and

He slept even less than usual.

Oh the joy.

Consequently, on Sunday, he was a grumpy pudding. As indeed were we. If there was ever a day when we could have done with an emergency Jboy service, Sunday was it. We were all tired. M and I felt ill-prepared to parent and the Boy was determined to make the day as long and as difficult as possible.

He, like so many children, reacts differently to each of us...with M, he was merely mischievous and challenging. With me, he pulled my hair, pinched me(a trick learned elsewhere),  kicked me and threw my glasses,rendering me helpless.

ALL DAY.

I can say that it was a day of which I was glad to see the end.

Today, we are in a place of equilibrium...as is evidenced by the picture at the beginning of this blogette  feet atop the footstool, both.

The weather has settled,  we are watching Shaun the Sheep and the potatoes are about ready.

Hurrah.

So, apart from my horrendous hay fever, all is well. Well, wellish as the Boy is currently trying to regain my attention by emptying the sink of its contents...that'll teach me!!!

😁😁😁

The End

It's another Monday

So...another weekend has come and then gone again in the blink of an eye.

We got up to high jinks with the Boy...well as high as jinks with the Boy can get, which in terms of height isn't very high at all!! 

On Saturday, sunny, sunny Saturday , we went to a nearby stately home where we found  to the Boy's delight and our considerable surprise, a gathering of Rolls Royce cars. A Rumble of Rolls Royce cars? A Retinue? A Refinement? Whatever it is called,  there they were , resplendent in their Rolls Royceness. Old ones, new ones, shiny ones, ones which looked as if they felt that sitting (?) on the grass, albeit the grass of a stately home, was undignified and those which looked very much at home. Their owners hovered closely, monitoring the hoi polloi to make sure that we did not smudge the chrome...or key the pristine paintwork.

Jboy and M patrolled the many, many rows of parked cars which after a while all looked the same to such as myself. Unable to contain my joy and excitement in the face of so much car-shaped visual feasting, I repaired to the tea room, where I did some actual feasting on the largest scone I ever did see. I was soon joined by Jboy and M.

Refreshments partaken, we resumed our inspection of the cars. They hadn't changed much in the 46 minutes or so since our last inspection, funnily enough.

When even Jboy had had enough, we trudged back to the car, returned home and watched Shaun the sheep! If he could, I am sure Jboy would have declared the day to be a huge success.

How could we hope to compete with such excitement on Sunday? By visiting one of our favourite garden centres, of course!!! A garden centre, replete with wind chimes, whirly wind sculptures, two delightful eateries, water features AND an aquatic section with a particularly large fish that I am almost sure recognises us because he swims up close every time we visit and observes us with his beady fishy eye.  Once Jboy and Percy (the fish in question)had finished communing, we once again returned home to Shaun the Sheep.

Today, Monday, I have met with lovely chums, paid bills, received a grocery delivery, prepared potatoes and generally had a relaxing day.


Marvellous.

Now, M is home, the Boy has just woken from his post MMDC nap, the potatoes have baked to perfection and the PIP people have sent me a letter, saying that they are considering the Boy's eligibility for continued financial support which is better than an outright 'NO' (grateful for small mercies etc)...

On that note, I shall away.....

The End

A week later.....

So....there is no further news of the house for The Boy, for which we are grateful as we are getting our heads around the idea of M being no longer a Man of Work, come the Autumn.

 I have suggested to him that he could take on the mantle of ironing, manoeuvering the vacuum or even cooking....but he is less than enthusiastic. Not that he thinks these things are my tasks (the ironing certainly isn't) but that he can think of many more pleasurable tasks which involve electrical hedge trimmers, axes and saws. Fair enough!😁

Last weekend saw our house full of our family..sadly not all could be there and were greatly missed. It was the occasion of M's birthday. He enjoyed gifts of whisky  which he has since sorted neatly on the pantry shelf integrated into his whisky collection, vinyl discs and wood carving tools (in preparation for his upcoming leisure time). He was a happy patriarch.

My week at the Bookface has been quiet...rain clearly stopped play. I managed to entertain a child or two, teased a customer or three, tidied a shelf or twelve and generally did booky things.

Marvellous.

M has had a week of shocked responses from colleagues who thought he was an integral part of the edifice and of general disappointment that such a man of great standing, wit, generosity, integrity and wisdom will soon be but a ripple on the pond of that particular slice of life.

He is still mostly delighted...and just a little bit anxious.

Today MelodyMaid and Bassman Bill, along with their Giles Likes Tea colleagues, will be playing at a Peace Festival...we hope to go along, depending on our exhaustion levels ,as a support and as a jolly good chance for a lovely evening.

Here's hoping.

That's all.

The End

Redundant

So....after many years with the heavy axe of redundancy hanging over our heads, it has finally fallen and M is to be made redundant in September. Thankfully, this doesn't have the gut-wrenching twist of anxiety that it would have had ten years ago...we are older and tireder now...but it is still going to mean huge changes for us. It IS a relief that, at last, we know...the indecision has been harder to deal with.

It comes,however, with the potential moving of the Boy into assisted living...so we have the slight feel that there is an imminent earthquake..the feeling that everything will change...that the jigsaw of our life is about to be thrown into the air and could land anywhere.

Where will the pieces land?

Which way up will they be?

Will we be able to make it again?

Or will it be a different picture altogether???

We feel both a flicker of excitement and a shudder of terror...

We have at least three months to prepare for redundancy from the job and a possible 6 months until the redundancy of parenting the Boy...

All change!
Mind the gap!

The End

We went, we saw...we wait

So...we viewed three properties with a view to our chap living independently from us. It felt like taking a very big, very sticky plaster off very, very slowly.

Property one: we arrived.  No one else was there...we waited until a young bearded man appeared on the horizon...the money man. Then his associate..the power woman. Finally the shiny suited, sharp shoed estate agent..who looked about 16. M and I both felt nervous and if i am to be honest(cos I know you wont judge), slightly hostile.

Well, sharp-suit unlocked the door and in we poured. He began his spiel but M and I were already off, exploring. The house was empty so that made it easier. The place was huge. Beautifully extended with a space that shrieked "sensory room" at us..(sharp suit thought it could be a home cinema....Wallace and Grommit on a loop,perhaps?) The garden wasn't big but fantastic. M and I had to admit that we could see the Boy loving it there...and if they didn't,  maybe we could buy it!!! Money man and Power woman were huddling...they liked the property. Great potential. Very little adaptation. This one was a (reluctant) tick.

House two: small, dark, smelly, too many steps, only one bathroom, exposed garden. I went in and said  'No'. We walked around as was expected of us but there is no way my boy is going there. Money man and Power woman agreed..... our visit here was very brief.

House three: adequate.  Requires adaptation but could be good. Fabulous ,enclosed garden.  M and I felt ok about this one. Not exactly ravingly excited. Ok. Money man and power woman walked about with special measuring machines and clipboards. Half a tick...

So..now we wait.

 Both of us with anxious tummies but bits of us thinking that he might actually enjoy it.

Possibly.

So, there you have it...

Ranting and so forth....

So....let me rant first.

Today I took delivery of my grocery order from a well known supermarket chain whose name rhymes with Fresco...our regular delivery of cake for the Boy , amongst other things. The cake which makes his bland, potato based diet slightly more bearable...i noticed that the box had a different design..then I saw the words which filled my heart with dread..."new re ipe". I turned the box over to read the ingredients only to discover that they have added coconut oil and milk...neither of which can the Boy digest. My poor Boy.

So begins a quest for suitable cake...and for who are asking themselves why I don't just make my own...I have tried. Believe me.

I have just penned..or, in fact emailed..a rather grumpy email to the Tesco powers that be, registering my dismay.

My first reaction to this disastrous (albeit minorly disastrous)discovery was dismay that they had changed the recipe..then anger..now all I feel is helplessness.

This was the 'rant'of the title..on to the 'so forth':

Tomorrow, at 10.15,10.45 and 11.15 M and I will be looking at three properties with a view to the Boy accessing residential assisted living. I feel both calm and rabidly sick in equal measure.

I can't write any more....it's all too big and too much.

The End

Weekend stuff

So....this weekend was a designated respite weekend....hurrah.

It all started well.

Off went The Boy to the MMDC with his respite bag and a smile on his face.

On Friday, M and I binge watched series one and two of a programme we like, whilst eating unJboy friendly food in a carefree and decadent manner.

Saturday dawned. M gardened, I did my Russian exercises(the written kind you understand)  then ,together ,we went to the nearby grand metropolis to watch a ballet. We rounded off the day with a spot of reading. No Wallace or Gromit or Shaun the Sheep in sight. Twas positively delightful.

Today, Sunday, M made his way down the stairs to make tea. While he was there, the phone rang...it was the MMRC. Jboy was not well and needed us to collect him as soon as possible. So, off we went

On arrival, the Boy was lying on the floor, clearly not quite himself. He took a considerable amount of persuasion to get him in the car...

Everything was wrong. We don't collect him. He hadn't stayed his allocated time ...etc. Ill or not, he was not happy about leaving early.

However, on arrival home  he smiled then lay on the settee and has been there all day. To date we have watched WallE, Up x 2 and Ice Age on the dvd player...Wallace and Gromit have just made their debut for today....😱

Is it a bug or is it something they gave him to eat? I checked his daily diary and found that he had been given peach (guess what..he can't eat peach), spaghetti bolognaise(made with what ,I wonder..) and apple pie (you've got it..another no eat zone)...so who is to know whether this episode is food related or viral....?

Whatever the reason, the outcome is the same..although he hasn't exhibited either D or V since arriving home this morning.......it's a good job we hadn't taken the opportunity to fly off for a weekend break in Barcelona or Paris ( laughs slightly hysterically)(at the idea...and the dream of such a thing)

It confirms to us that respite is not to be taken for granted and to enjoy it while we have it, as it can be whipped away ....like a tablecoth from under a tea set. It also confirms that we can't plan grand holidays far away as we might be called back at any time....holidays within a 2 hour radius it is then.

Thankfully, we have always liked Norfolk!

Poor Jboy. Not himself at all....😥

Here's hoping that a good sleep and a bit of tlc will do the trick....then he will be back to mum-wrestling, hairpulling and the like...

The End

Saving the world....

So.....we are trying to be as largely plastic free as possible in our lives. We have found marvellous plastic free alternatives for most things but I am afraid that there is one area in which i am failing...the Boy is doubly incontinent which means giant incontinence products...alright, they are HUGE nappies...let's say it how it is! Disposable nappies. Huge disposable nappies. Made largely of plastic products. It is true that the manufacturers are doing their bit and there is less plastic...but it is still plastic.

Every time I change him, scrabbling about on hands and knees, wrestling with a giant baby who has the strength of the 30 year old man that he is ,inwardly and sometimes even outwardly , I apologise to the world but I really cannot contemplate any alternative......can you even begin to imagine a)the size of a terry nappy that I would need?  b)the number of them I would need for even one day? and c)the washing....not to mention the unmentionable contents which I won't mention, obviously.

So, sorry ,world....I am really trying in every other way but this is one thing I currently cannot change.

I don't throw them in the sea or anything quite as gross but even so...

Sorry, turtles.
Sorry, dolphins.....

Sorry

The End

Update....

So....turns out the PiP people had simply sent out a standard letter to all current claimants....and they had the Boy's info all along!!! I eventually managed to break through the wall of telephonic hoops through which one has to jump to get to a real person yesterday only to discover that all is well....no need to worry...

oh, hurrah.

She said, wearily.

What a week. Pushed, pummelled, emotionally wrought, we face the weekend with the certain knowledge that the delights of at least one garden centre await us...

Joy unbounded.

The End

😁

Today's shenanigans

So...no resolution to the PIP, mainly because I can't get through on the phone and there appears to be no other way to contact them.  Hey ho...the worst that could happen, I guess, is that his money stops until we are able to reinstate it...


Today was the finance meeting, or annual torture chamber, for the Boy's continuing care at the MMDC. I understand...I do...that these procedures have to be done but it's such a stress in an already stressed-filled day. Today I nearly melted into a puddle as I endeavoured to get across to the lovely young thing the absolute struggle that is our day to day life. She was truly professional at all times and I can logically see that she was doing her best within the parameters of the system but life with the Boy on a day to day basis is not always within these parameters. He is unpredictable. His triggers are not consistent..otherwise it would be easier...he isnt in constant danger because WE MAKE SURE HE ISN'T. He doesn't choke (very often)or eat things which are not food (most of the time)or play with knives (frequently)or run into the road(usually) because we manage his life! Left to his own devices, or unsupervised, he probably would. So I was trying to say that he IS at severe risk of damage to self ,property and others but because he DOESN'T  choke or eat mud or cut things or get run over, she was arguing that his needs aren't as high as I was asserting. I got a bit upset and cross and I think I said politely (although in the heat of the moment it is sometimes hard to be as polite as one can be) that he doesn't do these things because we don't allow them to happen....to the best of our abilities.

The results of the meeting will be forthcoming.

Postmeeting, I staggered to work and endeavoured to be as jolly as a Bookface Elf can be....

But enough of my moaning. He is home from a delightful day at the MMDC where they are indeed MOST MARVELLOUS and he has had a joyous day.

The groceries have been delivered so we can eat something with the inevitable potato.

I've had a bucket of tea.

All is wellish with the world. Let's face it, it could be so much worse and tomorrow is a new day....

Onwards and upwards.

The End

😉😉😉😉😉

And so it continues....

So.....I filled in the huge PIP form and duly posted it...then today , May the 4th be with you, I had a letter saying that they hadn’t received it and would be stopping Josh’s benefits from some time soon in May. I immediately tried to ring them but of course it is Saturday which is followed by Sunday then,  in this case, Bank Holiday Monday so I won’t be able to get to them until Tuesday.  I could feel my stress levels reaching boiling point tbh....heart pounding etc.

WHAT TO DO???

Thankfully, after two cups of tea and some very determined comfort eating, I concluded that ,as there is nothing I can do until Tuesday, I should try to forget it.

I’m trying.

I might need to chat to myself in the middle of the night when worries always rear their ugly heads and poke me awake.... but for now, I am calm(ish).

M and I have a small pond in the garden which has been there for many a long year. It has been more of a stinking swampy bog  for the last few years but earlier this year I decided to try to revive it. I started to remove some of the rotting leaves which have been clogging it...oh boy did they pong!  M joined in and soon it was looking a lot more like a pond and a lot less like a boggy swamp. We have since undertaken to put oxygenating plants in and have kept it topped up with water.  This week I found a newt in its clear waters, plus waterboatmen skimming their way across the surface and Caddisfly larvae, which are an indicator of good water quality. We feel chuffed. Thankfully it is at the bottom of the garden so there is no danger of the Boy falling in as he won’t go further than the edge of the patio, some 200ft away.

Today, however, having received and then stressed over the PIP letter, I went down to the pond for a little light relief and to put in our latest plant...a small pond rush. However, on reaching into the pond to retrieve some floating debris, my foot slipped. Yes....my be-trainered  right foot slid into the mud and black ooze right up to the ankle. Yuk.

Debris retrieved, I then squelched back up the garden, feeling a little foolish and cross and not a little soggy.

Seeing a woman who was not only stressed but now wet, M kept out of the way.  Wise man.

The saga goes on...

But for now

The End

At the weekend......

So....we had a weekend of wildness without the Boy....well, wild as only we can.

It started on Friday with chips after work. Not just any old chip, oh no. Crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, perfectly salted chips.....provided ,for a small fee, by a local eating establishment. On returning home, I found the kitchen in a state of happy disarray.

As mentioned, M has been painting the kitchen, in lieu of re-doing the kitchen which we can't afford. Naturally, shelves have had to be cleared and cupboards emptied. Since the Boy was away, the contents of said cupboards and shelves were in piles on the table and worktops. Had the Boy been here, these things would soon have become a challenge, playthings, items to be thrown but as the Boy was not here, they were merely piles, innocent piles of kitchen essentials and/or detritus.

We left the kitchen thus.

Saturday saw us in a local supermarket, enjoying a sumptuous breakfast of bacon rolls in their niche cafe. We joined the other silver-haired breakfast eaters, although M wasn't wearing mustard cord trousers and I no gilet.

We then drove to visit one of our offspring on her narrow boat home. We had a most enjoyable day of sunshine, walks and tea....and we were still home in time to watch an entire episode of 'Vera'. Normally,  we are only able to watch part of an episode, and that on mute with subtitles so that the Boy is not rendered anxious.

Sunday dawned. M painted a second coat on those areas which required them in the kitchen then we drove to London to visit the youngest of our brood. We braved the public transport system, heading for the delights of Kew. I embarassed myself only twice..once as I tripped up a set of concrete stairs,  landing on my knees and grazing my hand and on the second occasion as I burst into song,albeit muted, at the sight of the words Underground and Overground in close proximity. The song was ,of course, that well known popular ditty sung by Bernard Cribbins concerning Wombles.

On arriving at Kew, the queue (yes, it was a Kewqueue)almost deterred us..but we are made of sterner stuff and queued as only Brits can. We even fended off potential queue jumpers. Politely, of course, without words but with stern looks and Britishness.

The gardens themselves were a delight,  the cafes full, the art installations stunning,the weather generally kind and the day declared a success.

Today, Monday, will require kitchen reassemblage but I can say that we packed in as much as two ageing, exhausted carers can in our weekend of respite.

Huzzah.

The End

Hairdressing

Just thought a different picture might be in order.

Here I am, thoughtfully having my hair and head rearranged by the Boy.

The slightly wild look is one with which my chums are familiar. It's the 'of course I am coping' look.

The End

catching up

So...here I am after a very long time. Why the silence?   Why not? Life  and all that it entails have prevented me from writing....I have been up, I have been down, JBoy has been mostly awake, I have hurt my back so M has been permanent ParentonDuty for goodness knows how long ...you know, the usual.

One thing which is HUGE is that we have dipped our toes into the big ,scary pool of residential care for our Boy. As we are not getting any younger and as the Boy has not outgrown his dreadful sleep patterns, we have decided that,long term , the best plan would be to make sure that he has the best care available....and that might not be us. It is, quite frankly, terrifying.

It has all been approved in theory but the powers that be need to find a reasonably priced bungalow in this town of ours, where cheap and yet large bungalows are few and far between...so it may be some time. They need a dwelling for 3 or 4 chaps, including our Boy, plus residential carers . ...with outside space, in the local environs so that the chaps can still go to the MMDC.....all for less than a sum specified.

We mostly don’t think about, choosing to face it when it becomes more of a reality for us. Also, if I think about it too often I feel dreadfully sad.

What else????

Ah yes....M may be made redundant...but he may not. The local authority for whom he works has no money and is looking to save as much as they can...by dispensing with useful and marvellous people who help the vulnerable. It isn’t a done deal for M, unlike some of his colleagues who have already gone.  (We have mentally spent the redundancy package 😂😂😂😂)( on frivolities...like a new set of kitchen taps as our cold water tap often decides that it knows best and that we don’t need water after all, even though we thought we did)(or maybe we could have a small holiday???????) So we await the decision. To be honest, it holds less anguish than it would have done 10 years ago as we are so much older and so much more tired than we were then....

I am still working at the Bookface. It is still my bit of space to be me rather than Jboy’s mum ...my colleagues are a lovely  lot...which makes it even better.

I have been teaching myself Russian for about a year....as if I don’t have enough to keep my brain whirling in a frenzy. I love it. I can read a bit now and request tea, coffee or bread...so I should be fine, come the Revolution.


Well, M is busy painting the kitchen,,,as you do when you have a respite weekend...so I had better minister to him with tea and biscuits.

Maybe I will be able to get my mental state into a place  of being able to write stuff again. (It helps me even if no one in the world reads it)

So, once again, this is
The End