Thursday, 29 December 2016

merry Twixtmas

So.....the Christmas festivities have come and largely gone. JBoy was the jolly recipient of many a noisy toy, some of which have already bitten the proverbial dust. He enjoyed it all...especially the melodic saxophone playing dog and the scary laughing monkey. Thankfully for the rest of us the monkey is one of the toys which has bitten the dust....when I bought it for him, it seemed benign and jolly but the longer it laughed its maniacal laugh, the more sinister it became. We have breathed a collective sigh of relief at its demise.

We are in that time betwixt the festivities of Christmas and the clean sweepingness of the New is time which I believe has been called Twixtmas by some. I quite like that.

Christmas, for me at least,  conjures up bonhomie, warmth, lovely cinnamon smells and tasty delights..(very Hygge..if you are au fait with such things)...whereas, for me, the New Year is fresher, sharper, emptier, if you will.  I know it all means different things to different people and New Year might be a glorious experience for you and I really hope it is.  We have largely given up staying up until midnight as one of us will inevitably be up within a few hours. if I sound negative about the New Year celebration, I really don't mean to... but we have given up expecting anything other than more of the same....and while we love our Boy with a passion, we sometimes yearn to be able to do something wild , well..unpredictable, such as go to a pub, or have nothing at all for tea because we aren't actually hungry until much later...or turn left out of our know, wild things like that.

JBoy finds comfort in familiarity so who are we to force him into discomfort???

Today, I had a little walk through the park in the town where we live nd took a few pictures on my little phone. It was actually a splendid day...made one feel positively perky.

So.......Have an amazing 2017 and be all that you can be.

The End

Pictures of:
The river
A street with smoke, threading into the blue
And me, dressed up against the cold and looking positively not English!!!

Monday, 19 December 2016

is this the real thing???? lovely cousin has persuaded me to continue to write bits and bobs here and here I am. This will probably be the last post of 2016 and as the round of letters which come in Christmas cards reminds me, I should do a run down of the family shenanigans for 2016. I could do the sanitised version where all is lightness and joy, no one has any problems and we are all bouncing with expectation for 2017...or I could tell the truth and say I have never been so tired in my entire life, life looking after my Boy is completely draining and often quite beige, various of my off spring have had a very challenging year which is an understatement and when asked what we look forward to in 2017, M has been heard to say, 'getting through it, one day at a time.'
Maybe the recipients of our Christmas cards would rather not hear that.
It hasn't all been beige though....Melody Maid and Bassman Bill got engaged and moved into a lovely house which were both bright spots on the canvas of 2016. I am working at the bookshop which is for me a very bright spot. We had a weekend away as a present from some lovely people which was rather not all beige or grey.
But today finds me weary. The weather is grey, Dancing Girl is home but ill and JBoy has been very challenging today...maybe tomorrow will be brighter, pink or yellow maybe.🌈

Anyway, to anyone who might be reading this....have a peaceful and calm Christmas and may your 2017 be all that you hope to be.

Merry greetings

THe End

Monday, 28 November 2016

last post

So...the world is falling apart. At least that is how it feels. I feel too self-indulgent , writing about the small life that we have so I shall stop for a while.

Have a happy Christmas and a year of peace and love.
Thanks for coming with me on the journey thus far.

The End

Thursday, 10 November 2016

feeling like a terrible person, after yet another night of being awoken at 2.30am followed by several hours of wrestling and scratching and pummelling, I have today contacted an organisation that gives long term residential care to adults like my Boy. I sent the email but now I feel like the worst person in the entire world. He is snoozing peacefully and trustingly on my shoulder, calm and content knowing he is loved and cared for unstintingly which makes me feel like traitorous baggage. I have to remind myself that I only sent an initial enquiry... even thinking about it makes me feel awful.  We ,M and I ,watched a film recently. It was called Live, Die, Repeat. M commented slightly wearily that our lives  are just like that. We live, die a little and then do the same day all over again. I know that could be said of most people's lives in reality but I think M is feeling the weight of this life of ours particularly heavily at the moment. Mostly I don't think about it. Too hard. Too scary. But I too am tired.  it all feels too difficult right at this moment.

I only made an initial enquiry. That's all. Nothing else. I need to remind myself of that as the Boy awakes and we get on with the evening.

Off to find a potato
  The End

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

trump day

So...will today go down in the annals of history as Trump day?? The day when the Trump card was played????  The world watches with interest and slight trepidation as the USA goes forward from here.

While such vast wheels of political machinery are in motion, every day life goes on apace. The Right Bus still has to arrive. The Right routines still have to be followed. Or the world would indeed be coming to an end...certainly for my Boy it would.

I was thinking as we stood, freezing, waiting for the bus this morning. I was thinking about regimes which 'liquidate' vulnerable members of their society so that these vulnerable people are not a drain on the societal coffers and resources. In history, this liquidation has been 'sold' as being in the best interests of the greater good. Let's hope history has taught its lesson well.

Enough from me

The End

Friday, 4 November 2016

the carers assessment.

So..recently I had to fill in form for a careers assessment. This form is about a zillion pages long and asks questions which are exceedingly difficult to answer in one or two words. I inevitably end up writing small essays in every little space as I try to explain accurately how life is with my Boy. One has to feel emotionally strong before one starts these forms because one certainly feels emotionally drained afterwards.  One of the little boxes to tick was whether I ever felt in physical danger from JBoy or not. I ticked that yes I do sometimes feel that. He hits out randomly and has a hefty punch. I fact recently he hit my face hard which made my mouth bleed. Of course this ha to be tempered with the fact that he doesn't really understand the consequences of his actions. In the instance mentioned, he was protesting about some thing we were asking him to do and the thump was more about that than hurting me.  So, yes, I do sometimes feel in personal danger....but I can still run faster than he can! Which is what I said to the social worker when she phoned up all concerned, having read my form. I wanted them to know that he hits nd hurts but I don't want them to think he is violent and uncontrollable on purpose. Oh it's a fine line to walk!!! The truth is also that M and  I both have the backs of our hands laced with interlocking scars from where JBoy has scratched and gouged us over the years. It's all part of parenting a chap with Otherabilities, such as ours. The concerned social worker was convinced that I m not in mortal danger, but at least they now know that it isn't all plain sailing.  He will be home in about 20 minutes. I should be peeling potatoes....but I am sitting down with a new book and a cup of coffee instead. Well, it's Friday!!!
THe End

Thursday, 3 November 2016

a gift

So...JBoy was away at the weekend at the Most marvellous Respite Centre where he had fun, created mischief, stole towels and generally had a ball. While he was away, M and I were given a present. This gift was a weekend away....just us. We went to a place full of walks, woodland and wonderment. We had a lovely little lodge/pod/chalet..I am not precisely sure what it is officially called....which overlooked nothing but trees and more trees. M was a very happy bunny. We unpacked our meagre weekend belongings and settled down for a coffee from the splendid coffee machine. On opening the door, nature rushed up to investigate. Clearly used to the sight and sounds of humankind, we were visited by squirrels galore, geese, swans, ducks and a rabbit popped by to say hello. Once we had communed with nature for a bit we decided to explore our surroundings. We had a lovely long walk, encountering only squirrels and the occasional coot. It was surprising to find ourselves so alone when the site was jam packed with excited families, away for the final weekend of their half term. They were all doing other things such as swimming, archery and crazy golf. Our weekend took on much the same pattern...we walked while everyone else was busy elsewhere. We explored the entire woodland area and walked by the perimeter fence so went as far as we could. It felt a bit if we were in some alternative world while outside the fence , ordinary life continued apace. Maybe it is because I now work in a bookshop and have absorbed bookiness , or maybe it is because I have an overactive , hyperactive, imagination that I began to construct a story in my head whereby we were in a place where all was jolly and bright...sometimes enforcedly so. The staff in the shops were incredibly jolly and everyone of them wished us a happy day and instructed us to enjoy our, there we were,fenced in, no cars (all neatly parked  in an enormous car park), sounds of happy children , nature in abundance, smiley people, food available at almost any time you wanted it,  while outside the fence, the humdrum sound of tractors and cars.....which one of us was the free one??????......could be a deep philosophical question. Discuss among yourselves!!!
All in all we ended the weekend refreshed and a little weary after so much unaccustomed JBoy-free walking. JBoy had had a fab time too ....hurrah.
The End

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

hurrah and huzzah

So...we have a respite weekend approaching. These come about once a month and by the time they arrive , we are more than ready. We have three nights without the Boy while he is being cared for at the Most Marvellous Respite Centre. The first night we wake as usual, waiting for the Boy to start banging about, alerting us to his wakefulness. On the second night we still wake up but not as often during the night. By the third night we are beginning to feel rested....then he comes home again. So while three nights is amazing and fab and help enormously, we don't actually manage to get into a proper sleep cycle a consequence both M and I are functioning on minimal s a bit of a twilight life in a way. However, we are managing .......without the Respite I can't imagine what we would do!!!! So hurrah and huzzah for the MMRC!!!

The End

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Birthday plus 1

So...birthday plus one. I don't know about the mothers among you but on a child's birthday one's mind is often taken back to that moment of birth. JBoy came quickly. No hanging about for him. We only just had time to organise our marvellous friend to come and sit with the Others, then M rushed me to the local hospital. (I was a little offended  as he made me sit on plastic case...)(funny the things one remembers) JBoy arrived amidst the usual mount of maternal heaving and paternal encouragement. He rushed into the world, determined to make his presence felt. He has been doing that ever since. Within moments, it became clear that our Boy was not functioning as he should. We were whisked from our lovely local maternity unit which has long since closed to the soulless nearby teaching hospital with all the equipment and staff needed to ensure that our Boy survived. I have written before about the long dark days which followed as condition after condition unveiled itself and it became clearly apparent that our Boy was not going to be the usual run of the mill child, if indeed there is such a person! So today I have been able to think back to the days which followed Jboy's arrival in the world. To say they were hazy would be an understatement but we had a huge amount of support and love from friends , without whom I m not sure how we could have managed. They know who they are. They are our friends to this day, although life has meant that we don't see them as much as we once did. I love them dearly. They were more supportive than our families at that time who were coming to terms with their own ways of dealing with the conundrum that was JBoy. Our parents particularly found it hard to understand and cope. There were suggestions that we should put him in a home, give him up for adoption and other thoughts which M and I would not countenance. My dad ,though,was amazing. He just loved the Boy. Unconditionally from the moment he knew of his existence until his dying day. They 'had some fun' together. JBoy responded to my dad, recognising on some basic level that here was someone who loved him and made him safe. Our other parents never quite managed that....they did try. My dad just didn't have to try. He just loved.

But enough of this, today is birthday plus one, another day, another chance to be grateful to all the people who have been part of our lives. THANK YOU

Live long and prosper

The End

Monday, 24 October 2016

happy birthday Jboy my Boy is 28 years old. When he was born there seemed little chance that we would see his 10th birthday let alone his 28th. He is maddening, frustrating, exhausting and unpredictable but he is also loving and joyful and has a wicked sense of humour. He has given us, as a whole family, a different view on life. Some things matter less than maybe they might had we not had our boy. We are able to rejoice in little the fact that he managed to shut the car boot today all by himself. He kept going until he did it. He was determined that it should be shut and discovered how to do it. This is a small thing but for us it is huge..he made a choice, he experimented on how to do it, he persisted until he at last succeeded. What a chap!! It is his birthday but so far he has not  had any presents..he will be home shortly and then the present presenting can begin. What do you buy a 28year old who has the mind of small child??? You buy him things that you know he will enjoy but which you also know will probably last only a week or we have a toy washing machine (his favourite programme), a singing teddy and a singing Peppa pig. He also has a singing birthday card...he has presents from others too and will open those with delight and excitement. He isnt always keen on new things straight away and sometimes takes a day or two to get used to a new toy but he will look at them with unveiled suspicion, glare at them a few times, then  suddenly enjoy exploring all that they can do....alternatively, because he is so unpredictable, he may dive straight in and love everything. Who knows????  Who knew 28 years ago today the journey and direction that our lives would take? Who knew that things could be so bleak or so golden? We have known extremes of emotion with the Boy. We have sung, weeping, over him as we thought he was not going to reach the next day, we have laughed with him, we have watched him develop in his own short, we have experienced so much. Life with him is hard. Life without him would now be harder.
Happy birthday, my Boy.
The End

Friday, 7 October 2016

an autumnal moment

So..we re well into the swing of Autumn here...leaves falling, skies greying and shops filling with delightful and not quite so delightful Christmassy things. JBoy does not appear to notice the changing of the seasons...he just accepts it when we start to dress him in warmer clothes, thicker trousers and a slightly more padded jacket. I wonder if he does notice or whether he is oblivious. Routines change ever so slightly too.....lights go on earlier in the evening, the fire will soon be lit and radiators once again become logged in clothes as I try desperately to dry everything and avoid that wet dog smell that comes with slightly damp clothes which are put way before they should be. It is Jboy's birthday this month. He will be 28. I have found a nice noisy card but as yet, no present. I did order a singing teddy from Amazon but when it arrived, it failed to sing and the batteries eventually grew extremely hot and began to fizz...which isn't good. There is the temptation not to do his birthday at all as he isn't  particularly bothered by it but that feels mean and heartless....even if he has no idea what is going on. He knows about presents now and enjoys unwrapping things but that is more pertinent at Christmas when there the many presents and many people but for his birthday it's just him. Now that DG lives away and the Others have busy lives of their own, Jboy's birthday usually goes largely unmarked except by me. M isn't very hot on birthdays in general so would probably happily ignore everyone's, just isn't on his radar. So...what to do for a present........I have a couple of weeks but my mind is singularly empty of ideas, now that the singing bear is defunct.....what to do......all suggestions gratefully received.
Thank you
The End

Thursday, 29 September 2016


So....I have been helping at a mums and tots group for children with additional needs...well, we have only just started properly and so far haven't had many children but the group of peeps who help are all very lovely. Today I was talking to a specialist who came in to always surprises me how quite how close to the surface my feelings about JBoy are. We were talking about a time when Jboy was about two..unable to do anything much..even sitting up wasn't something he had mastered. We undertook a programme called Portage which breaks down into teeny tiny segments every action that you are trying to do...Progress is chartable...he can sit for 5 seconds...he can sit for 6 seconds, 10 seconds etc etc etc. It is an amazing scheme and i was surprised to learn that not everywhere in this country offers it as standard. Jboy made huge progress in small easily achievable chunks which the Others were able to see and help with too. It is a long time ago now but talking about it today brought back all those feelings, long since buried beneath the detritus of life...emotions run deep. Felt a bit on the weepy side to be honest...not in a self pitying sort of way..more of a 'we got through that' sort of thing, with a bit of 'HOW did we get through all that?'thrown in. Now my Boy has just arrived home from the MMDC, is demanding dvds and food and all manner of things. (Apparently today he has been 'lively' ..which is MMDC speak for Mr Opposite and Into Everything...)..I had better attend to him.
By the way, Portage is the practice of carrying one's canoe from one body of water to another and is also a place in the Americas where the Portage system for helping chaps and chapesses of Otherabilities was invented ...although what carrying canoes has to do with it I am not entirely sure.....

The End

Monday, 26 September 2016

Booktastic my new and most recent role as part time sometime bookseller, I have had lots of fun making the kids section look kidable ...oh the places I could go with it.......and today, I was given a great gift...I get to read stories to the littles. Oh yes I do!!!! I know that for some people , this would be a nightmare and maybe for me it will turn out to be too.......but I love books, I love story telling and I love at the moment I only feel excitement. With the white hair that bedecks me, I am a grandmotherly figure which might be attractive to some children and repellent to others. Only time will tell. I can do stories....I like stories. Anything can happen in a story.....

Imaginations away......

The End

the end of a potato free weekend

So...a weekend without the Boy has passed like the proverbial flash. Where did the time go?  It went on painting the bathroom, sorting out the loft and generally being busy,trying to get done all the things we can't normally get done. Today, he will be returning, expecting potato and Shaun the sheep on tap. We have enjoyed a sheepless weekend and indeed a potato-free weekend to boot. It has shown us that we still like each other (that's a relief) and have things to talk about. However, we haven't managed to sleep very well. Months, nay years, of broken nights have taken their toll and our sleep patterns have been well and truly mangled. Neither of us slept well at all. Each night was a little better than the night before really we need a week at least to get proper sleep and recharge our internal batteries. Oh cannot have everything!!!
We have a plasterer coming to do the  kitchen ceiling, where the old bath leaked through.....he asked me to remove all ornaments and pictures from the walls.....has he seen our kitchen????? It may take me some time!!!!
On another completely unrelated note, today i saw a pixie hat.......

Autumn is truly here

The End

Saturday, 24 September 2016

hello again

So....I have been inactive here for a while...not the Black Dog this time, hurrah. I have been gainfully employed once again in  the most marvellous Bookshop which has in the past offered me employment. I can now legitimately look at books, stroke books, stack books, smell books and organise books ...and be paid for it. They employ me for a few hours, within the Jboy parameters, to do those things. I even get to introduce some people to the books they never knew they needed to read. I have helped grandparents find books, helped a teen boy find books, discussed the merits or otherwise of several volumes, entertained toddlers and sorted shelves to look attractive and irresistible. I have put aside many books then put them back on the disciplined of me. Would that they could pay me in books!!!! As far as I am aware, Jboy has not noticed the difference, other than the fact that I am extremely tired on the days when I work so when he has his post MMDC nap, I have one too! This week, he has hurt his foot by kicking the car in protest to our asking him to get in it. We were in the grand metropolis which is not far from us. He had got into the car to go there, we had walked around, purchased the odd thing, had cake in a cafe and were trying to return home. this Jboy did not feel was acceptable!! He showed his protest by kicking the car so violently that he hurt his foot and subsequently could not walk for two days. This meant that i was IN ...and i don't do being in very well. However, after two days he was limping and very very keen to go to the. MMDC as he was bored beyond reason at home with me...he clearly doesn't do being In very well either. He has managed very well all week and is now at his Most Marvellous Respite Centre. We have celebrated by painting the bathroom ..well, M has.....cutting the grass, again M....while I have been chatting to you. A fair division of labour......maybe not :-)
Jboy is being particularly difficult at the moment which is why this weekend could not come quickly enough. I am...nay, we are eternally grateful for the MMRC and cant imagine how we would cope without it.
So..on with the day.......
Ther End

Friday, 2 September 2016

Joffalo 3.00am  a wild creature started to shred my skin, roar in my ear, breathe hot firey breath on my face and general pummel me into a pulp.....what manner of wild animal was this? A Mythical Beast perhaps? Some form of bear? Of course was my now here I am, nail clippers in hand , trying to pin down the wild creature and trim its talons whilst watching some pre school joy. Life is surreal.....
The End

Thursday, 1 September 2016

The Black Dog returns

So....this summer has been characterised by me and the Black Dog going head to head on several occasions.  I could feel his yellowed teeth in my leg and smell his putrid black breath on my skin. He makes me tired and tearful, weary and worried, anxious and ailing. My Other self tells me these days will pass and pushes the Black Dog away, unafraid of its bark or bite but sometimes, just sometimes, the Black Dog wins. I bear the scars.  My Boy is lovely but relentless in his neediness and dependence. Sleep deprivation must eventually take its toll. Maybe it is the longer and hotter days that give the Black Dog his energy yet sap mine. I have been near the precipice ..ok mixed metaphors,sorry....and those that know me,know that edges and precipices are not things which I enjoy in any way.
But today is September. Today I am being gummed by a greying dog which is much less scary than being bitten by a Black one.
So...onwards and upwards
Happy September y'all
The End

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

the challenging chap

So.....Jboy has decided to show the peeps at the MMDC the side of him which we see on a regular and exhausting basis....the Jboy which refuses to do as he is asked..the Jboy who flings himself to the ground when thwarted...the Jboy who grabs at people in an aggressive and rather worrying fashion...yes, this is our boy. We are both worn out with caring for our fellow and the constant hypervigilance which we must employ. Now he has shown this particular Jboy to the MMDC and they are a bit perturbed. M and I, when we take the Boy out, walk on either of bodyguards but we are in fact guarding the bodies of those around, rather than the Boy. as we are guarding them FROM the boy and his unpredictable arms. I am rather hoping that the MMDC will come up with some MM pressure, chaps!!!!  in the meantime we continue with our care and attention for a Boy who challenges us on every level.....its what parents do.
The End

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

dog days.....

So...I haven't been terribly active here recently. I wrote a thing recently about the dog days of summer and the origins of that saying but I have decided that for some of us the dog days are darker than they are for others, with the Black Dog nibbling away. Why this should be I don't know. Maybe because for many of us with family members who have Otherabilities, the long summer days are just that....long. The caring continues....for hours and hours. And many, like us, cannot take a holiday...for several reasons, finance being one of them but also the fact that our Boy does not like change of any sort for him, a holiday is stressful and scary. If he goes to theMost Marvellous Respite Centre we cannot guarantee that he will be able to stay there...if he exhibits signs of illness, or signs which they deem to be illness, he must come if we were to go away, we might have to return at any, while my friends and family whizz around the globe, M continues to work and I continue to do what I do and the Black dog lurks menacingly.
 I have decided that I don't do August
The End

Thursday, 21 July 2016

day 2 of the non-illness we are. At home. Neither one of us poorly in any way,shape or form. Poor Jboy wandered about with his bag this morning getting more and more distressed as the appointed Right Bus hour came and went again without so much as a whiff of bus. It's hard to explain to a chap who doesn't understand lots of things that someone thought he was poorly and needed to be at home..I did manage to wrangle him into town but he wouldn't do anything other than stand by his bench, occasionally chase the odd pigeon or two and watch the many and varied busses which came along. Eventually, when nature's call was becoming very strong, I called M who was working at home to come and rescue us. This he did, much to my relief (in many ways). Together, we managed to herd Jboy home with promises of sandwiches and Shaun the Sheep. Now here we are, Jboy and I, pinned while Shaun does his sheepy thing and M resumes work......thankfully, Jboy will be able to return to the MMDC tomorrow..he will be pleased. Btw tomorrow is our wedding anniversary....I expect we shall celebrate by M going to work because he has to and me going for a coffee...because I can!!! And they say that the age of romance is dead......!
The End

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

broken respite

So..I have been largely quiet recently...not for any reason other than life has been busy. Jboy is currently at his Most Marvellous Respite Centre..and I have had a few days where I pretended I was on holiday. Of course the UK weather helped as it has been hot and sunny...and we did have a busy weekend, taking DG to London where she is now dancing her socks off at a Summer school and loving it...but today, Wednesday, has shown us why we cannot go far afield when Jboy is away. We had a call saying that he has a stomach bug. Imagine if we had been called home from Spain or France..we DO have a whole raft of splendid people on standby BUT they couldn't be expected to deal with a poorly here I am, awaiting the arrival of a very hot and probably very grumpy boy as his normal routine has been tossed out of the window and he has to Come Home when he should be going to the MMDC. I am girding myself even as we speak!!
No doubt today will be less than marvellous.
The End

Monday, 11 July 2016

Jboy,the Tshirt and the TV

So....the weekend has gone and here we are, Monday again. A Monday in July. As Jboy and I stood, awaiting the arrival of the Right Bus this morning, we listened to the wind howling above us and did a little dodge the raindrops dance. Ah, oh to be in England,now July is here!! Yesterday Jboy did something remarkable in its Jboy significance....let me explain. Jboy has not shown much understanding of many things (he has GREAT understanding of other things I hasten to add) but this weekend he made the link between a picture on his T shirt and a DVD of choice. I was Parent on Duty yesterday. Once fed and watered, bathed and dressed, we shuffled into the froom to pass the time until M emerged from his comfy, sleepy state. I had dressed Jboy, unthinkingly, in the first Tshirt my hand had come across, as is my happened to be a Tshirt bearing the likeness of a certain Wallace. There had been no indication that Jboy had noticed what he was wearing but upon entering the froom, he started to lift his outer long sleeved garment. I thought, mistakenly, that he was attempting to UNdress so I started to make motherly noises about being cold....HOWEVER on further investigation, I saw that he was pointing to the likeness of Wallace adorning his little chest. 'Oh,'I said'Do you want to watch Wallace and Grommet?'. He nodded and we did. Now this is remarkable on many levels..that he noticed what he was wearing, that he made the link between it and the DVD and that he worked out that if he pointed to the Tshirt, he might get a DVD of choice, without having to work his way through the Cupboard of Technology to find it first. Such a clever fellow.
The End
PS you know how some gardeners have a little robin as their gardening companion?? We appear to have a blackbird fulfilling that role. It hops about waiting for some yummy mealworm or birdseed. It is getting very bold......and yesterday was merely inches from M as he pottered about, gardeningly. We shall call him Blackie.

Thursday, 7 July 2016

jelly and so on...

So...this week I have mostly been ill. I spent at least two days asleep and only emerged yesterday in a very tentative way. I am glad I did as I met with a lovely friend that I haven't seen for far too long although ,thanks to the marvels of modern technology ,we still know everything about each other. That's one of the joyous things bout this modern age...we can be far apart and yet still be as close as ever.
Being ill has crystallised some of the difficulties of having a chap with Otherabilities...who is there to call on??? I have some lovely friends who would come at the drop of the proverbial hat..but they also have lives and children and did, however, deliver me a pile of orange jelly...not in a globulous pile, that would be disgusting, but she left a little pile of ready made jelly on the door step as I had told her it was the only thing I could stomach. A Jelly Fairy. Thank you Jelly Fairy.
Poor M had to be Parent on duty for a run of nights in a I was good for nothing. He managed  extremely well but found the cooking rather a trial. It is well out of his comfort zone..poor chap. He did well.  M also had to cope with the whole putting on the bus routine...neither M nor Jboy were impressed by this. I was too asleep to be able to remind M to do the 'concrete post' song or the 'finger in the fence hole' ditty or the 'up and down the curly wurly iron railing' wonder the poor chap was reluctant. Still we were back to normal this morning...Jboy made his usual protest about getting on the bus but the Most Marvellous Escort waved her magic high vis wand and on he got , smiling and chuckling with the satisfaction of having watched his mother stand on the pavement in full view of the public, singing songs about a concrete post, a little hole in the fence and a curly wurly iron railing. My humiliation complete, we each got on with our day.
So I have learned that friends are friends no matter how long it is since you have seen them, jelly solves a lot of things, jelly fairies are real, Netflix is a marvellous invention(I watched a Christmas film and I am proud), M CAN do it, Jboy CAN survive nd I can sleep for England,given half a chance.
THe End

Friday, 1 July 2016

2.24am we are, Jboy and I. It is 2.24am....I would say it's a joy to be here but I would be fibbing. We have wrestled and I have tried reasoning with him but here we are, watching Pointless Celebrities, which is indeed pointless. Time was when I might have just finished a particularly riveting chapter at this time and rather than being an early morning this would have been a late night...gone are those days. Loooong gone. Due to diminishing brain cells,caused largely by lack of sleep and probably ageing, I can no longer sustain long reading sessions into the dark of the night. My reading material has changed over the years bookery diet has become considerably lighter. I am currently reading a book in which the plot, and I use the term lightly, is so obvious that I already know what is going to happen...and I have barely started my literary snack. Sometimes a book can be really disappointing and it leaves me still hungry. I have just finished such a tome..many, many pages...a twisty turny story then suddenly,in a flurry, it was all if the author got a bit bored and needed to move on. I was sad and felt a little bit cheated. Books have always featured large in the lives of our offspring too..including Jboy. Yesterday I was helping at a mother/parent and toddlers group..aimed at parents with children who have additional needs..or , as I usually say, Otherabilities. Due to my Boy's televisual preferences, I know a lot of things about preschool viewing and characters when one of the children chose a book about Peppa Pig, I was able to enter into the plot with gusto and appropriate voices. I had fun. Well it is now 3.00am and my brain is refusing to think in words so I shall go and hope that Jboy will go to sleep before too long. Good night ...or is it good morning?
The End
Ps I think the word 'read' might be related to the German word 'reden' which originally meant , making sense of written symbols...but it might's ten past three,after all...and who cares?

Wednesday, 29 June 2016


So...I was Parent on Duty today and my call came at silly o'clock although it wasn't as silly as some o'clocks I have known. Jboy was in fine fettle..raring to get on with the day. Wearily I followed suit, slightly less raringly. We followed the normal morning routine of breaking our fast with cereal...gluten free oaty delights for Jboy and something lumpy and crunchy and purportedly healthy for me. Then I made the sandwiches and Jboy had his compulsory sandwich cast offs after which we headed for the bathroom for the first of the day's ablutions. Whilst sitting happily in the bathroom, waiting for the water to be just at the right temperature with the optimum amount of bubbles, Jboy decided to launch one of his last remaining battery powered toys (a fire engine with a rather splendid operatic voice)into the foamy waves. Alas and alack Mr Emergency, as we like to call him, has been rendered silent and his fine operatic rendition of such ditties as "emergency , emergency lets go and fight the fire" are no more. He is sitting, dripping silently and forlornly, with an occasional hopeful prod by Jboy. Jboy can exhibit signs of unexpected cleveritude but when it comes to baths, bubbles and toys, his cleveritude dissipates like the bubbles in his bath. Ah well, on with Wednesday.
The End
Ps the most marvellous word 'verisimilitude' is my favourite today.

Monday, 27 June 2016

Merry Monday

So..another weekend has come and gone. What larks, what frolics did we get up to this weekend??? Well, if I gave you a guess I expect you would be to hazard one.....yes, we went to a garden centre. After much huffing and puffing by the Boy, we managed to encourage him into the car and off we went. This particular garden centre has fish galore..Jboy headed straight for this section, leaving M and I gasping for refreshment after what had been a rather fraught morning. Once Jboy's fishy fancy had been satisfied, he was happy to venture to the café where we indulged in a large bowl of coffee apiece (well, not Jboy...he doesn't 'do' coffee). M and Jboy both had an enormous bacon sandwich while I sat virtuously and watched. No I didn't!!!! I scoffed a huge slice of Victoria Sponge!!! We then meandered around the garden centre, M and I resisting the pull of many a flowery treat until we felt it must surely be time to go home. Jboy did not agree. Then ensued a small battle of wills, won by M...eventually. In silence, all words having been extinguished by the battle, we drove home. After a little while of being IN, Jboy decided that he needed to be once again, we gathered up his bag of essentials and set off , on foot this time, into town. We followed out normal town routine...M and jboy stood on the square while I was sent to find a seat in the coffee house of Jboy's choosing...this time the one which rhymes with CarTrucks..and awaited the arrival of Man and Boy. I did not have long to wait. I managed to get Jboy's preferred seat where he can watch traffic from all directions with ease. And so our Saturday played out.  Sunday dawned.With it (although not at dawn) came the arrival of a dog (and owner) for a visit. Jboy was ,at first. somewhat anxious about said dog, Then he became interested and finally enamoured. He spent a goodly amount of time following the dog, laughing at the dog and eventually showing his delight in the dog by trying to sit on its lap, not quite realising that dogs do not have laps in the same way as people do. The dog was very tolerant. Jboy flapped his cloth at the dog, stroked the dog, tried to pull the dog's tail and generally loved the dog until the poor creature took refuge under the table. When at last the dog departed, Jboy fell into an exhausted sleep, possibly dreaming of hounds.
Today, we had an early start. I was Parent on Duty...Jboy was breakfasted and bathed and Bob the Buildering by the time M stumbled down the stairs. When it came to be time for the Bus Vigil on the Pavement, Jboy and I were weary. The bus arrived. The Right Bus. The Right Driver. The Right Escort. I said my goodbyes and scurried into the house. I hadn't even reached the chair in the bay window when Jboy got on the bus and was seated in position..I was just in time to wave a cheery wave. Result!! long may it continue.  Now it is 12.25 and I feel need to have a if you will excuse me I shall find a cosy corner and have a delightful snooze...
The End

Friday, 24 June 2016

friday frolics

So....the United Kingdom has voted to leave the EU,eh?...well, almost half of us didn't.  Almost half of us voted to remain and be part of the larger European family....

life goes on......

So..the Most Marvellous Mr A at the Most Marvellous Day Centre has come up with a cunning plan. A Most Marvellous Cunning Plan at that. He has suggested that when the Right Bus arrives, I hand over the bag containing all Jboy's essentials for the day, wait for the Most Marvellous L (the excellent escort extraordinaire) to get off the bus and then I scarper. This is did, this very morning. A quick kiss and a cheery cheerio and I was off. I legged it back to the house..where of course I stood on the chair in the bay window so that I could watch the pavement progress progressing. (I have to stand on the chair otherwise I cannot see over the bushes which we have growing outside which take the place of net curtains or opaque windows). I watched as Jboy stood about for a bit, presumably wondering what on earth was going on, then calmly walked to the bus ...AND GOT ON!!! No wrestling. No pavement rolling. No fence sliding. The Most Marvellous L and I ,grinning like Cheshire cats, waved at each other like wild waving things as the bus pulled away, bearing my contrarywise fellow for a day of fun and frolic.
Friday fun
The End

Thursday, 23 June 2016


So....I haven't been here for the past week or, as in on this blogolette...I have been 'here' in the metaphysical sense.....Why? I hear you cry? What has happened, oh beleaguered one??  Well, I have many plates to spin, not just those of Jboy and these other plates have been wobbling dangerously and causing me some concern so I have been attending to them.  It has been a tricky time and continues to be so but I am calm and sure that Right will win out. Enough of that.
I have been asked to help out at a mother and toddlers group for Children with Otherabilities so today was our training session.  I felt very much like a spare part....I have lived this life, after all and am still living it. It felt weird to be 'on the other side' so to be on the giving rather than the receiving end of things. Although to be fair, such groups did not exist when Jboy was little...we had to go to ordinary groups and try not to spend the whole morning in tears!! Or do what I did...and not go at all!! Each child is different.....just because a child has a label of 'downs syndrome' or 'autistic' doesn't mean that you understand ALL children who are Downs or Autists..each child is as individual as every 'ordinary' child. Saying 'they' (ie Downs children) are so loving aren't like saying 'brown haired children always eat too much chocolate' cannot generalise. Not that anyone did this morning at the training session, I hasten to add. I am a little anxious about being involved in the group tbh..will I just cry??? Because such a group did not exist for me and my Boy? For all the exhausted parents who come to whom I cannot say 'it will get better' or 'it gets easier with time'??? It gets no just adapts.  Can I say that? Can I be honest??? maybe I will just make the teas and coffees and smile like an ancient old crone.....and hand out tissues as and when......
The End

Thursday, 16 June 2016


So...I read a post on FB this morning as I sat, drinking my flat white(oh, I am so trendy)(clearly I am not by dint of using the very word 'trendy'). I was in a cafe of a well known coffee chain whose name rhymes with hosta. It made me cry. No, not the flat white nor the fact that I was in a coffee chain rather than a dinky independent coffee house, but the FB post. It was a piece written by the parent of a child with Downs Syndrome. I am going to assume for ease of writing that the parent was the mother although it could just have easily been the father...I try not to be parentist. The mother was writing about all the staring and whispering that goes on when one is out and about with one's child(however young or old) who has learning difficulties or Other abilities. Sometimes, as a parent you can cope with it and sometimes it is just too hard. For this particular parent on this particular day, she wasn't coping well with it as she sat in a cafe, trying not to listen to the whispers and comments coming from a nearby table. As she sat there, another figure approached her. Her immediate thought was,'Oh no..what now??'. The stranger proceeded to congratulate her on the wonderful job she was doing and how delightful the child was and how proud she should be of her beautiful, precious, lovely child. This comment, from a complete stranger. left the mother in tears. Me too. These positive comments are like the proverbial 'hen's teeth' when parenting an extraordinary person with Other abilities. The whispers, asides and grimaces that we have faced are too numerous to count. One develops a thick skin but sometimes that skin wears thin..we are only human after all!! It doesn't cost anything to be positive and can be worth immeasurably more to the person to whom you are saying it.
So, sniffling and snorting, I finished my flat white and sauntered home...
The End

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

all in all..not feeling marvellous

So..the idea of this blog was, originally, for me to write about life with Jboy and to get out all the feelings and emotions and realities of life that having a son with profound learning difficulties bring..but actually it isn't that easy.  I try to be completely open and honest at all times, trying to show how hard it actually is without being depressed at the same time. Sometimes I just want to be depressed and sink into my own pool of murky feelings and wish it was different....but then I feel so guilty because others have it so much worse than me/us. I feel , like many people before me, that I am spinning a bazillion plates and they are in danger of falling around my ears, crashing down in a great cacophony of shards of my life. So I don't always write everything. Why would I??? Today is one of those days..I am fighting that old black dog today. He is gnawing at my ankle, trying to win me over. I am still determined that he will not win but it is just so hard to fight all the time.
It isn't just Jboy but many other things that threaten to overwhelm and consume, adding to the chaotic spinning.
So, I shall go and do my best to shake him off, keeping at least some of the plates spinning and endeavour to write something more upbeat another day.
The End

Monday, 13 June 2016

red bucket!!!

So..another respite weekend has come and gone. We had a most marvellous time celebrating two birthdays..M and DG. There was much eating of cake and blowing of bubbles...a jolly time was had by all. We went out for a meal on Saturday evening and DG looked SOOOO beautiful and grown up..where have those years gone?????
As it was a respite weekend, we spent quite a lot of time in the garden which is an activity which Jboy does not like us to do. There we discovered not only deer poo and badger poo but also fresh hedgehog poo. We were perversely thrilled about the latter and less so about the former.
Today I bought myself a red bucket. My cup overfloweth!!!!
The End

Friday, 10 June 2016

another respite.....

So..Jboy decided that he WOULD get on the Right Bus today, after about two weeks of refusing and generally rolling around on the pavement. We, the Right Driver, the lovely escort and I, were preparing ourselves for the usual 15 to 20 minute delay as he has been indulging in a fair bit of refusnikery of late..but today, he climbed aboard, chuckling and smiling. And they say he is not unpredictable!!!  This weekend is one of cheese and TV without subtitles as it is a respite weekend. To celebrate I bought cheesy topped bread and a Will Smith DVD....oh, joy untold! Maybe the fact that Jboy was going on respite was enough to spur him onto the bus with nary a backward glance. Who knows???? Not I! I have had a bit of a purposeless day, wandering hither and thither, unable to settle down to anything much. Velma, our intrepid vehicle, has been very poorly and needed to spend the night at the garage to be mended. At great expense, she is returned, feeling a bit sorry for herself.  I have been carless....not that I use it overly, but when I cannot, I feel the lack! I also often spend the first day of Jboy's respite feeling restless and misplaced. I also feel a lightness of spirit and a sense of relief which I then feel guilty for feeling...oh, the agonies of parenthood! It's a weird old thing....this parenting lark!!
On that happy note, I shall crack open the cheesy topped bread!!!
The End

Thursday, 9 June 2016


So..UPDATE!!! NEWS FLASH!!! The Most Marvellous A at the Most Marvellous Day Centre has just phoned me. He has made a million phone calls on our behalf and everything has been sorted!!!!!!!! I WAS at the review...but the review was 9 months I had forgotten it! The wording of the letter clearly stated that Jboy was not complex, unpredictable or intense enough and 'does not meet the eligibility criteria' but what they meant, apparently, was that the funding would remain the same!!! They were saying, in fact, that they wouldn't be awarding any extra funding.....shame they didn't just say that. We hadn't expected any extra..the same is just lovely, thank you very much. SO.... Sorry to have aroused the passions of so many of you marvellous, wonderful, caring and lovely people. I can't tell you how amazing it was to read all your comments and to feel your support. The relief in this house is now palpable!
The End
PS i even had my campaigning hat on today and was ready to get going.....I shall save it for another time as inevitably there will be one!!!!

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

funding cut.....what next?????

We had a letter this morning telling us that after Jboy's review (what review??? I know of no review), half of his funding for the MMDC will be cut. Not sure of the implications of that surely isn't good news though

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Jboy and the early start

So..I have been awake for a Very Long Time on this hot and sultry day. Jboy seemed to think 2.35am would be a good time to start the day. He has been waking at a slightly later hour most recently which has made commenting on the early mornings they weren't (too early). Today, however ,we resumed crack of dawn patrol. Then, to compound the day, the Boy decided that getting on the bus, Right as it was, was NOT the thing to do today. We had an intense' conversation' about it and eventually, after many minutes, he saw the folly of his ways and reluctantly climbed aboard. Hurrah for the patient most Marvellous Driver and the Luscious Lovely escort!! They are not allowed to intervene but I could feel them cheering me on!! Once he had deigned to climb aboard and the bus had driven off, I continued with the day. Today I have been mostly planting . I ordered a load of 'plug' plants from a cottage garden nursery. They arrived today looking very sad and sorry for themselves...and terribly , terribly small. So I installed them in their place and . hoping that they do not prove to be an aperitif for the deer, they will one day look splendid. Tomorrow is M's birthday. Hurrah for M. As he does Not Do FB, I can reveal the fact that part of his present is an elephant. Not a real elephant. That would have been tricky to keep hidden. He made mention in passing at one of our garden centre visits that he rather liked the look of a stone elephant. Unbeknownst to him, I returned to said GC and purchased little Jumbo. (Jumbolet?). Here's hoping he meant it!! Or Jumbolet may be consigned to the depths of the shed and that would such a shame. Jboy returned home at his appointed hour, having had a similar 'discussion' with the staff at the Most Marvellous Day Centre about getting on the bus, despite its Rightness. Ah well. Unpredictable is his middle name. (Clearly it isn't )
Now, I must prepare The Potato.
The End

Sunday, 5 June 2016

Sunday scribblings we drove through the rolling landscape of our rural county,passing fields of sheep (we once had visitors from Germany who always referred to more than one sheep as sheeps...and thus it has since been in my mind) and those bright yellow , almost neon yellow, fields of oil seed rape which were once so alien in our landscapes, a foreign invader, but which now are a normal part of this time of year. It was promising to be a lovely day and we were headed to a garden centre (of course). As we went along I was thinking about the passage of time and how nature is a great marker of the passage of time. I have a calendar to help me with that too..not an electronic one, I am not technologically savvy enough for that. No, my calendar is a Moomin calendar, on the pantry door. Why Moomin, you might wonder?? Why not, I riposte!! It was a present from M for Christmas..well, truth be told, I bought it and he wrapped it to give to me, so the choice of a Moomin calendar was mine alone!! I can blame no one else. I prefer the solidity of a real calendar much as i prefer a book to an electronic read really. I like the feel, the smell, the texture of a book. Apparently, books, as in the real paper things, are now becoming a status symbol..according to radio 4 , so it must be true!! A symbol of what status I wonder? Books have the added bonus, for us, of not breaking if and when Jboy throws them!! On the theme of generally being an old stick (paper calendars, paper books etc), there is a move towards 'greening' of driveways. We are doing quite well on that fits nicely with our general view of life. well mine. M is much tidier than me. Our drive was, today, awash with the buzzing of bees on the plantery that has colonised the top bit of the drive and I can even pretend it is deliberate for it to look like that!!! I win!!
The End

Saturday, 4 June 2016

Potting up

So..yesterday I was mostly planting. In pots. M has removed the brick bike shed and the space was begging to be adorned and loved in the form of plants in pots. My days are short..well, shorter than the average (bear....Yogi Bear fans will get this) since Jboy goes anytime between 8.45 and 9.30 and is returned between 3.20 and 3.45 so I have to do all I need to do , which often turns out to be a lot, within those time parameters. I have been doing it for years since those are roughly school hours here I am, aged, silvery haired and STILL working to school hours!!! Yesterday I decided, after the obligatory supermarket visit to replenish Jboy's stock of Free From Everything cake, to Do the Planting. This involved running up and down the garden with the wheelbarrow to gather compost from the heap at the bottom (and our garden is fairly long) then potting up the multiplicity of pots which I had decided needed to be there!! It took several journeys and a lot of digging and heaving but all the pots are complete and in place. At the moment, some of them are looking a bit shocked, having been torn from their comfy little pot and shoved into a larger pot which they are having to share!! I managed to complete the task by 3.10 which gave me time to wash my hands and make a cup of tea before the evening onslaught of Jboyness. He has yet to see the plants and will no doubt comment on them in his own way, as if to say..'Mother, what have you done NOW!' In other news, I found a birthday cake which is Free From Everything and therefore suitable for Jboy to share is M's birthday next week and we will all (all three of us) will be indulging in a hopefully delicious slice of something which looks remarkably like cake...let's hope it tastes as good as it looks!
Today is Saturday and no doubt the delights of a garden centre await....
The End

ticket to adventure.....

So... Jboy and I found ourselves, pinned to the settee with excitement and anticipation this morning as we watched an episode of Ben and Holly which we had never seen before. For those of you who care, it was the episode where Ben and Holly et al are stranded up Mount Everest. It is the episode which involves magic, a tent in the shape of a castle(A CASTLE!!!) and a certain amount of pre-school peril, which was ,of course , ultimately resolved. (Phew!) What's not to like???? No wonder we were pinned!! They declared that it was a most marvellous adventure(my words, not theirs!) which naturally led me to thinking of the word 'adventure' and all things adventurous. The root stem of the word is, I believe, of Latin origin 'advenire'..which means, if memory serves, to arrive. So an adventure is something which is going to happen. My dictionary says 'adventure' means unusual and exciting or daring experience:2.•a reckless or potentially hazardous action or enterprise: and 3. an exciting experience. I have concluded after great deliberation(alright, after the couple of minutes before Peppa Pig came on the TV to entertain and delight) that adventure must surely mean different things to different people. For us, an adventure might , these days,be discovering a new garden centre which Jboy will go into!! For parents of small children, the adventure might be having a bath ON ONE'S OWN! Maybe the adventure could be walking the Pennine Way (Susan Hammond). I was once in a group of women, most marvellous of course, who met weekly (and sometimes weakly). At one point I made them all a Ticket To Adventure (say this in portentous continuity announcery tones) as a simple reminder that every day is a new one and therefore an adventure. And yes, life does tend to be the same day after day for many peeps but , when I remember, I try to find the adventure within that! So what is your adventure? Getting up can be an adventure when all you want to do is hide under the duvet, Going into a new place can be adventure if it isn't something you like to do. Walking the Pennine Way? Deep sea diving? Going to Sainsburys instead of Tesco..or vice versa...whatever your adventure is, enjoy it, delight in it.....let's do this!!!!
The End

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

another day, another dinner

So...another day...another dinner. What permutation of potatoey delight shall I serve Jboy today? Since he can only reliably eat baked or mashed without dietary consequence, I don't have a lot of leeway. I have been out all day AND it was my turn to be Parent on Duty so any inspiration re:potatoes has long since disappeared! Sigh...once more unto the breach, dear friends and If not the breach, certainly the kitchen.....potatowards I go......
The End
PS the Most Marvellous Social Worker in the World has contacted me to admit defeat on the 7 hours a week front.Apparently the Boy is too challenging and the task too daunting...what is it they say, it's the thought that counts!!!!!

Tuesday, 31 May 2016

merry merry go round the merry go round that appears to be my life, or at least my emotions and therefore the nature of the things I write, yesterday I was glum but today I am feeling more on an even keel. (terrible mix of metaphors there....sorry, purists) I may not have been able to go to a BBQ and wear my mantle of 'normality' but hey, that was yesterday!!!!! Mantles of ordinariness and normality and fitting in are probably over-rated anyway!! Today I have managed to field a Boy onto his bus, have an unexpected coffee with a chum and her lovely son, plan a spot of pot gardening (it's all in the planning I am told), encourage the printer and computer to talk to each other so that I could print some Important papers and have afternoon tea out with my lovely M before the equally as lovely, if more challenging ,Jboy returned from his most marvellous day at the Most Marvellous Day Centre. I feel as if much has been achieved. OK so I haven't solved  the world peace issue, or the UK in/out of the EU issue or even thought about what we are having for dinner BUT it is all comparable!!! Sometimes  simply getting through the day is a victory!!!
Maybe my merry go round is like Mary Poppins' ...the carousel horses sometimes gallop off and do their own thing!!! (I love that notion)
Happy Tuesday and very nearly Happy June!!!!!!

The End

Monday, 30 May 2016

bank holiday Monday moan(feel free to ignore)

So...this might be a bit of a moan..feel free to ignore. It is SO hard trying to  be 'normal' and 'ordinary'. We have been invited to a BBQ today with lots of other people we know and love but we won't go..we know that Jboy might not get in the car, might not get out of the car at the other end if we DID manage to get him in the car, might not go in the house if we got him out of the car and then might not get back in the car to come home. He probably couldn't eat the food either and would be anxious about all the people....some of whom he knows but some of whom he would not know. It wouldn't be fair on him to try to make him do all that just so we can wear the mantle of fitting in. Just to try to help ME feel part of a community instead of isolated and weird.
Moan over. Thanks
The End

Sunday, 29 May 2016

Jboy and the Sunday outing

So...Jboy and the Sunday outing...M was Parent on Duty today so by the time I emerged from sleep, he and Jboy were raring to go..., after doing housely things such as hanging the washing out, we were all ready to go. M and I had decided that we would not go to a garden centre today but that we would try our alternative Jboy-entertaining activity of parking at a goodly distant car park in the city and walking to the centre. Jboy often has his own plans about going out...however, he fails to let us in on the secret and today was no exception to that rule. He was clutching his Going out Bag which contains all that a Jboy could need or require so evidently wanted to be out....we introduced the idea of going in the car.This was when we realised that HIS plan and ours were very different. He was very in his disapproval of the idea. I have the scratches on the backs of my hands to prove it..and the hedge at the front was bedecked with strands of my silvery hair which Jboy had seen fit to remove forcibly from my head. Maybe he felt that the hedge lacked some shiny decor!!!! M and I had determined that our plan was the one which was going to happen today so after some considerable negotiation (ie me saying."Car or house?"repeatedly to the Boy , using the well used broken record technique, so that he knew the alternative to going in the car was NOT a stroll into town (we did that yesterday and will probably do that again tomorrow) but rather staying in the confines of the house) he climbed into Velma and our day could continue. Once ensconced, Jboy was a smiling and chuckling picture of jolliness as we set off for our nearest city. We parked, not in our usual Narnian car park, but in another known to us but not so well known to The Boy. We were quite early so the town was relatively empty and walking through was not the trial it can sometime be as Jboy grabs and flaps his way along. We passed what seemed to be a massive celebration with drums sounding out loudly into the street. The people flocking to this celebration were all beautifully and ornately dressed in long golden saris and elaborately decorated clothes. It sounded like fun!! M and I wondered if we would manage to get Jboy past the drums and thankfully we did. We went to our usual haunt for refreshment then, having been fed and watered, we made our slow way back to the car. This time we passed two chaps playing oil drums, saucepans and plastic bins in the style of Stomp, without the dancing. They were outstanding. Meanwhile,Jboy had spotted a children's merry go round in the distance with flashing lights which won his interest. So, off we went and then we stood by said merry go round for some time until M and I managed to entice Jboy away with promises of sandwiches. After a minor protest about getting into Velma, we drove home and here we are.....home at last. Sandwiches made and consumed. M in the garden and we are watching WallE(again)...well, it turns out I am watching WallE while Jboy has a nap. These outings don't half take it out of you, you know!!!
The End

Friday, 27 May 2016

Jboy and the bus shenanigans

So...Jboy and the Bus some of you may remember,Jboy was sent home unexpectedly last week, in sickly disgrace. He wasn't sick...just needed a little pork extraction. Since then , he has been reluctant to get on the bus of a morning,despite it being the Right Bus, , with the Right Driver, the Right Escort and arriving at the Right Time. Why could this be, one wonders? I have a small theoryette. I think he might be anxious about getting on the bus because he just isn't sure any more whether he will be made to come home and spend an unexpected two whole days with Mother, or whether something else unexpected and therefore quite scary might happen. Whatever the reason, he has made getting on the Bus a mammoth task this week. For 3 out of the 5 days this week, M has been at home, not quite having escaped the clutches of hominess to go to work, so the Most Marvellous Right Driver has been able to scurry from his vaulted position as driver to ask poor beleagured Mike, dressed in his smartly pressed work clothes, to come and heave the Boy into place. This he has done. Today M had managed to extract himself from the house so it was all down to me. I managed, with the judicious use of the knee and an adapted hitch kick (pause while all the dancers envsage this most wondrous of thoughts) to flip him onto the bus before he could adopt the jelly legs approach and lie on the pavement. Go, me! Of course, next Monday is a Bank Holiday which leaves me wondering what the Tuesday Bus Ascent will be like!!! Talking of things vehicular, M has been making noises about changing Velma for something different. Admittedly it IS tricky getting Jboy into Velma but once in, she is a delight. I am most fond of Velma. To me ,cars are all much of a muchness and yes, I am that person who asks the colour before anything else about a car! As long as cars work, they are fine. Velma ,on the other hand, has a benign and gentle air about her. I shall be glum when the time eventually comes to say goodbye. I once felt similarly about a mini. My parents donated it to me when I was a student. She was called, originally, Minnie. She was so old, though, that as I drove to and from university, bits of her would fly off as I went. Indeed, the M5 was bejewelled for about 3 years with bits of Minnie. Eventually, she was held together with gaffer tape and that stuff people used to patch up cars, hoping that it didn't look like a badly stuffed cushion. (The MOT must have been more lenient then). At last the day came when all the special glue and car stuff and gaffer tape in the world were unable to maintain the belief that she was still roadworthy. By comparison, Velma is at the height of her beauty and strength..there is just the minor problem that it is hard to get the Boy in. As the raison d'etre of us having a 7 seater is simply to transport the Boy safely without him being able to cover the driver's face with his hands (yes, this HAS happened) or grab them firmly by the windpipe (this too), maybe I will be forced to consider the possibility of Velma being rehomed at some not too distant point while we seek another method of transporting the Boy which keeps him happy and us safe. Maybe we could simply tow a special caravan, equipped with noisy toys and fairy lights for the Boy to sit in, much like a carriage. Of course I jest........or do I????
The End
PS I was writing my journal in a cafe today and I noticed that I was using a pen called 'Le Pen' Marvy...must have been made for me!!

Thursday, 26 May 2016

tra la la

So...guess what I saw today at silly o'clock.....yes, a baby deer. A deerling. A deerlet. Yes, mummy and daddy deer have indeed produced at least one baby. There may be more but I only spotted one. That's the end of my summer bedding plants then!!!! Jboy was suitably interested then banged loudly on the window to scare them away..which it did. I have slightly mixed feelings about it all....the baby deer are SO sweet and it all looks idyllic and lovely...until I see the result of their visit in the form of munched mesembryanthemums!!! That's less sweet, idyllic or lovely. Now,while I was bathing the Boy this morning at something like 5.00am, I decided to have a little trill. I had singing lessons in the not so distant past and loved it..until it became a choice between the family eating and having toilet roll or me having singing lessons. With a sigh, I made the grown up decision....but I remember some of the vocal warm up I flexed my singing muscles and had a trill. Jboy enjoyed fact, he laughed and laughed and laughed. Hmmm. That reminded me of another time I was singing in the shower and heard M thundering up the stairs...he hammered on the bathroom door, saying, in an anxious tone,"Are you alright in there? What's happened?"..."I'm singing,"I replied. "Oh,"he said,"I really thought you were in pain". Hmmmm..perhaps I won't go in for that talent show after all!!!!
I know...maybe I could sing to the deer!!!!!! That should solve that problem then! :-)
The End

Monday, 23 May 2016


So...decisions, know when there are things you have make a major decision about but find yourself in a state of will find me there today. Life and stuff. Why isn't it straightforward???
The End

Friday, 20 May 2016

who needs a gym when you have a Jboy?????

So...another day of walking around, trying to keep Jboy entertained and off my head, while he is not being sick..(see above(or is it below??) posts for further info if you wish). We set off into our small market town at 8.45ish having been up since 4.30am...felt like we had done a day already!! Jboy was happy to walk into town and have a stand on the square. He was a little reluctant to go to the café but did so. We met with a lovely fact my new definition of a true friend is someone who will go into a coffee house which they do not like and drink the coffee which they find unpleasant in order to keep me company and delay the onset of maternal madness..Thank you, lovely chum (you know who you are). Once we had completed our stay in said coffee house, Jboy was off.....we resumed our position on the town square where we spent many a happy hour, beside a bench while he watched bus after bus...after bus after bus ,in fact( we were there for some time!!) When I could stand it no longer, I whispered 'time to go home for a  sandwich' in to his shell like ear. He responded positively. At first. The positivity did not last ,despite continued whispering and even the singing of a sandwich song. Coming home was a trial. A long drawn out trial....but home we are at last and I feel physically as if I have completed a circuit or two(or 5) at the gym. Everything aches . Jboy, however, has his coat clutched in his hot little hand and is looking at me hopefully...I am going to watch DG this evening doing what she loves to do. I do hope I stay awake!!!
The End
 a shell like......

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Jboy and the admirer's a thing...every Thursday, the MMDCstaff take my Boy and chums to a Tea Dance where they and others of  Other abilities get together and have a jolly time. At this Tea Dance,Jboy apparently has an admirer..a female admirer. She is, so I am told, very attentive. He , however,likes to employ the technique of largely ignoring her.(Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen- perhaps?)  Today, Jboy was not at the Tea Dance because he was at home with me, not being sick (Rules is rules and I DO understand that, really I do). A few minutes ago, there was a knock on our  front door. I unpeeled Jboy from my shoulder (M is away,watching DG doing what DG loves to do)and found one of the MMmembers of the staff from the MMDC. He had brought with him an invitation from Jboy's female admirer.... to her birthday party. Sadly, there was no date or address or information of any her love may have to remain unrequited....and Jboy will just have to maintain his reputation as 'aloof man about town'.
AND, on another note, what dedication on the part of the member of staff to bring it round ,personally..told you they were Marvellous!!!
The End

rules is rules

So...Jboy and the story of the some of you may have read on my blogette, Jboy decided to fill his face and consequently his oesophagus with some contraband pork, stolen not so discreetly from our kitchen. This incident took place on Monday evening so poor Jboy spent Tuesday and a part of Wednesday, trying desperately to swallow what turned out to be a rather large lump of pork. He cannot/does not chew and has teeth which are not designed for biting small pieces of food so the pieces which he stole were ..well, big uns. He could drink and was a very happy fellow, clearly not in pain but just unable to eat anything of substance. He was desperate to continue with his normal routine so went off to the MMDC on Tuesday...had a good day, didn't eat much, came home and after some warm water with honey in it (I read that on the internet so it must be true), regurgitated some of the offending food stuff. On Wednesday he was very happy and insisted on going off on the Right lunch time, just as I had arrived at my lovely chum's, my mobile trilled. Yes it was the MMDC. Jboy had 'vomited' and needed to be sent home at once. I drove like the proverbial wind (being careful to maintain the speed limits, officer) and arrived moments before he did. He was very grumpy. Not because he was ill but because he was home at The Wrong Time. The lovely escort said,'Oh he isn't himself..poor boy' to which I replied.'He doesn't want to be home. It isn't The Right Time'...I had to employ a song routine to get him off the bus which worked but he wasn't a happy chappy. Not happy at all. Thankfully I have a close relationship with a couple of lovely medics (one of whom is my son and the other his lovely wife)(i know other lovely medics too but on this occasion they weren't involved). Both of the aforementioned lovely medics had given me I was armed with fizzy drinks and various other digestive aiding bits and bobs. Jboy swallowed this medicinal help, making a face which would have been amusing at other times..he was not impressed...then (all those of a weak disposition look away now) he gave an almighty belch and jettisoned a large lump of still recognisable meat across the room and then immediately started to demand sustenance....and tried to eat and drink for England. Now, the 'non-vom' aspect of this tale is that he was certainly ejecting any food (prior to evacuation of offending article) but it wasn't was simply regurgitation. HOWEVER, rules is rules and he is not allowed to return to the MMDC for 48 hours. Just in case it is a bug. Which it isn't. He is NOT HAPPY. We have spent a fairly jolly morning in our little town but we did spend an inordinately long time there, walking up and down and then up and down again, passing the same people several times who eventually stopped saying 'hello' and merely smiled wryly instead.... and now we are pinned in front of Shaun the Sheep......and that is my tale of the non-vom.
The End

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Jboy and the incident of the meat.....

So...yesterday I was in one room just finishing a phone call and Jboy wandered into the kitchen.  When I followed him there, moments later, he was sitting at the table looking a bit guilty. And so he should...what had he done???? Well he had stuffed a goodly amount of meat (cooked pork to be exact) into his mouth. Now, bear in mind that he cannot chew and the configuration of his teeth make it such that he does not bite, and you might be able to imagine the large lumps of meat which he managed to get into himself before I appeared. He was clearly not himself and spent the whole evening gagging and returning undigested pork to us. We gave him a prolonged warm bath and eventually settled him for the night once he had stopped M and I had a great debate about whether Jboy was well enough to go to the MMDC or not.  Jboy was exhibiting no signs of distress but neither did he want to eat....I decided that he was well and happy and therefore could go. He is now home. He has had a lovely day...but he has eaten no lunch.....he is obviously not quite right. I have had an extensive internet search for remedies/advice. I think it has been helpful and reassuring on the whole. He is happy, laughing and jolly but not eating.....any advice would be gratefully received.
The End

Monday, 16 May 2016


So...I am reading a book  called 'Unglued'...the author is talking of an emotional ungluing here..those moments when you explode as the final straw hits you...of course, I am sure no one who is reading this has even experienced that......when the computer freezes for the 100000000th time and you were just about to order something/pay for something/submit something/save something.....whatever it might be. A moment when all you want to do is throw the thing out of the window. Or stamp on it really hard. Oh, that's just me then??
Often, these emotions are  like a cauldron inside and you manage them until the last thing happens, whatever it might be. I know I have talked about this before in reference to a glass of water which is completely full and a sort of dome forms (the meniscus) so that when even a teeny tiny extra bit of water is added, it overflows. This is another way of looking at the same thing I suppose. (do you sense a theme in my life??? I cope. Then I don't.)
This author talks of emotions being glued together then one last thing happens and you become all unglued. I have enjoyed reading her book because she talks of those times when you have shouted out loud about something which last week might have been received  differently (sorry children-mine) and how you deal with it. She talks of not being able to control your circumstances, but controlling how you think about them and therefore how you react to them. She talks of not being defined by our mistakes ..nothing new ,I know ,but it is good to be reminded of these things and good to know that I am not actually the only one in the world!!
Well, off to the garden where I can potter and plant and enjoy the May sunshine while it lasts, feeling relatively well glued together, knowing that if/when I start to unglue , it will be OK.
The End

Friday, 13 May 2016

an empty head and a dog post know that feeling when you have so much in your head but just can't get anything head is bursting with thoughts and feelings and words but I can't get them out in a proper order. I have been sitting here, looking at this blank page, willing the right words to tumble out. I write this blog to keep myself sane and to inform anyone who wants to read it about life with a chap like Jboy. Today, there is too much inside. I can't unravel it sensibly. I do have moments of  clarity..mostly at 2 or 3 in the morning when I am up with Jboy but have no means of recording my thoughts. I always think 'I will remember that' and sometimes I do but sometimes the thought  just falls right out of my head, never to be seen again. Today was one such day.

I do, however, have a facebook page which is sometimes different from the things I write here. Today I had a thought about dogs and their humans.  I shall share that with you today...

So...I have heard it said that dogs look like their owners...or the other way around and anyone who has seen the beginning of the Disney cartoon version of 101 Dalmatians will be able to note that this theory is not just confined to the narrow bounds of my mind. It is a fascinating idea. HOWEVER, Jboy and I would like to disagree or at least state that this not always the case. We see many a dog and its human walking along of a morning and we have noted (well, I have..Jboy less so) that is in fact a rare phenomenon. Today, for example, we saw a young man (well, young to me as almost everyone is these days) sporting very slightly scary tattoos across both cheeks. He was dressed in black , that ominous 'don't mess with me' sort of black and he had that 'don't mess with me' sort of walk too.....and he was walking his dog. Guess the dog? It was .....a very cute Yorkshire Terrier, trotting along , tail in the air and a doggy smile on his face. In addition to this observation, while M and I were on our jolly jaunt, we stopped at a motorway service station where we saw a gentleman emerge from his car. He was tall and very muscled, arms like the proverbial tree trunks. He reached into the back of his car to retrieve his dog which turned out to be a.....teeny tiny chihuahua. Maybe both of these fine gentlemen have dogs which reflect their inner selves as they certainly did NOT reflect their outer selves..or maybe they were walking them for someone else. Maybe there is a PhD in there somewhere.......
I had a Golden Labrador...not sure what that says about me....
The End

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Wednesday again....

So...another damp morning in paradise. Jboy and I braved the raindrops to take up our position and wait for the Right Bus. As we stood, we looked around at all the lush greens of the trees and bushes around us. There is one particular tree which tells the seasons beautifully and which is now vividly dressed in must be Spring! This morning, i had a look in my Forest of Coats for a suitable not too warm and yet warm enough coat which would be suitable for standing out in the misty moisty weather. i found a long, unlined leather number which has been languishing at the back of the forest for some time. M has a leather coat and is reluctant for us to be dressed similarly..I think he was traumatised by my lovely mother's attempts to make him feel part of the family, many years ago when he and I were new. She knitted us matching jumpers. Not so bad in and of itself .....but they were blue and white sailor style jumpers complete with large sailory collars. She had worked very hard so we had to wear them for at least a day in her presence. M has never been quite the same since! So this morning, I unearthed the long leathery coat and didn't get at all wet. Huzzah!!!
I leave you with the imagery of M dressed in a sailor style hand knitted jumper...and with a look of despair, concealed by a smile, as he tried very hard to be happy and please his future mother in law.

The End

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

normal service resumed....

So....normal service has been resumed with a 1.30 am wake up call from the Boy himself. He is a very happy fellow to be home and have his parental cuddles once more. As we stood on the Pavement this morning, waiting for the Right Bus with the Right Driver, we surveyed the world. Jboy was completely fascinated by a large snail which had made its merry way up a shrub to the top and which was munching its way along. Jboy enjoyed watching its tentacles twitching and its slow snail slither. He then noticed the raindrops, captured in the folds of a neighbouring leaf whorl, and thought they too were fascinating but in a different and more shiny way. And so we spent our time, watching and waiting. Waiting and watching until , joy of joys, the Right Bus came with the Right Driver and the most marvellous escort.
All is well in the world.
The End

Sunday, 8 May 2016

road trip!!

So..I am returned. I was poorly for a while then M and I had the delight of being able to go away as Jboy was at the MMRC. M had no idea where we were going, as I had arranged it secretly. He knew we were going somewhere, just not where. We set off to our first stop...a well known rose nursery . Of course, I had forgotten that this is NOT the rose flowering season so there were rows and rows of beautifully pruned green bushes which , I imagine, in the summer would be fantastic to see and smell...a veritable feast for the senses. However, M and I have fairly vivid imaginations and were able to picture it all. We ate lunch in the very lovely café, with all the other old people(!) then purchased two roses which promise to be fabulous.(If the deer don't get them first) On to the second part of our road trip. I have a very pleasant satnav app in my new phone. I have called her Emily so Emily took us through the glorious English countryside to our next destination. Here, we found our B and B which was situated at the bottom of a hill. We discovered that the small town ,ancient and ringing with history, is built on a hill so everything is up and down. We  spent the next two days exploring the town with all its ancient buildings (over 500 listed buildings in the town) and walking along the river's edge and through woodland, places we could never go with Jboy as he can't manage such terrain. To M's delight, the town also has its own brewery so we paid a visit there to sample the local ale. He was such a happy chap! When our sojourn had finished in this lovely town, we moved on to the next stop, with the help of Emily, of course. This was a small Cathedral City which M has always wanted to visit. We strolled through the streets, sat a while in the cool of the Cathedral, saw the sights to be seen, lunched then moved on to our final destination. This was slightly less exciting as it was a place where M had to go to a conference. Our B and B here was not charming as it had been in our first venture. This one was far more utilitarian in nature but it did the job. We slept and breakfasted then , again with the help of trusty Emily, we found the conference centre. I saw M off then after a quick look at a street map , I marched off, purposefully ,in the direction of the city centre. I have the sort of brain which remembers maps quite well so I walked, joining in the sea of workers as they swept along to their various day jobs. And thus I spent my day...finding bookshops, cafes, interesting little places, a river walk, a park by the river, Harvey Nicholls (simply because I had never been to one) until my feet told me in no uncertain terms that they had had enough and could I walk them back to the conference centre please. This I did. The day was hot and my feet hotter so the cool of the foyer at the conference centre was a welcome experience.  I supped my large cold drink, surreptitiously removed my clogs, finished my book and waited for the conference to finish. The conference was being held in a large hotel so the foyer was a meeting place for various other parties using the facilities..I enjoyed making up stories about the people and what they were there for...such fun!!  At last, a trickle of M-a-likes began to emerge from somewhere in the depths of the hotel, followed soon by the M himself. We drove off, with the help of Emily, and made our hot and weary way home. What an adventure. It felt as if we had been away for weeks, not just days. Tomorrow, all will be back to normal with the return of the lovely Jboy and the travels up and down the countryside will be a memory. fast fading.
Still, it was fun while it lasted.
The End