Thursday, 19 May 2016

rules is rules

So...Jboy and the story of the non-vom...as some of you may have read on my blogette, Jboy decided to fill his face and consequently his oesophagus with some contraband pork, stolen not so discreetly from our kitchen. This incident took place on Monday evening so poor Jboy spent Tuesday and a part of Wednesday, trying desperately to swallow what turned out to be a rather large lump of pork. He cannot/does not chew and has teeth which are not designed for biting small pieces of food so the pieces which he stole were ..well, big uns. He could drink and was a very happy fellow, clearly not in pain but just unable to eat anything of substance. He was desperate to continue with his normal routine so went off to the MMDC on Tuesday...had a good day, didn't eat much, came home and after some warm water with honey in it (I read that on the internet so it must be true), regurgitated some of the offending food stuff. On Wednesday he was very happy and insisted on going off on the Right Bus.....at lunch time, just as I had arrived at my lovely chum's, my mobile trilled. Yes it was the MMDC. Jboy had 'vomited' and needed to be sent home at once. I drove like the proverbial wind (being careful to maintain the speed limits, officer) and arrived moments before he did. He was very grumpy. Not because he was ill but because he was home at The Wrong Time. The lovely escort said,'Oh he isn't himself..poor boy' to which I replied.'He doesn't want to be home. It isn't The Right Time'...I had to employ a song routine to get him off the bus which worked but he wasn't a happy chappy. Not happy at all. Thankfully I have a close relationship with a couple of lovely medics (one of whom is my son and the other his lovely wife)(i know other lovely medics too but on this occasion they weren't involved). Both of the aforementioned lovely medics had given me advice...so I was armed with fizzy drinks and various other digestive aiding bits and bobs. Jboy swallowed this medicinal help, making a face which would have been amusing at other times..he was not impressed...then (all those of a weak disposition look away now) he gave an almighty belch and jettisoned a large lump of still recognisable meat across the room and then immediately started to demand sustenance....and tried to eat and drink for England. Now, the 'non-vom' aspect of this tale is that he was certainly ejecting any food (prior to evacuation of offending article) but it wasn't vomit..it was simply regurgitation. HOWEVER, rules is rules and he is not allowed to return to the MMDC for 48 hours. Just in case it is a bug. Which it isn't. He is NOT HAPPY. We have spent a fairly jolly morning in our little town but we did spend an inordinately long time there, walking up and down and then up and down again, passing the same people several times who eventually stopped saying 'hello' and merely smiled wryly instead.... and now we are pinned in front of Shaun the Sheep......and that is my tale of the non-vom.
The End
Baaaaaaa