Tuesday, 14 June 2016

all in all..not feeling marvellous

So..the idea of this blog was, originally, for me to write about life with Jboy and to get out all the feelings and emotions and realities of life that having a son with profound learning difficulties bring..but actually it isn't that easy.  I try to be completely open and honest at all times, trying to show how hard it actually is without being depressed at the same time. Sometimes I just want to be depressed and sink into my own pool of murky feelings and wish it was different....but then I feel so guilty because others have it so much worse than me/us. I feel , like many people before me, that I am spinning a bazillion plates and they are in danger of falling around my ears, crashing down in a great cacophony of shards of my life. So I don't always write everything. Why would I??? Today is one of those days..I am fighting that old black dog today. He is gnawing at my ankle, trying to win me over. I am still determined that he will not win but it is just so hard to fight all the time.
It isn't just Jboy but many other things that threaten to overwhelm and consume, adding to the chaotic spinning.
So, I shall go and do my best to shake him off, keeping at least some of the plates spinning and endeavour to write something more upbeat another day.
The End

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