Monday, 4 April 2016

saw toothed walk

So..the marvellous social worker has set everything in motion for help with both the house and Jboy....which is tremendously FABULOUS AND AMAZING. She has had the funding approved and everything.  It is brilliant..so why do I feel so scared?? On thinking about it, I think it is because we have been doing everything for SOOOOO long that it just feels immense to let someone else take over..even just for 7 hours a week. I am fine with the whole ironing thing...will I clean up before the cleaner comes though????? (No)But what about the Jboy thing? M and I were talking about it at the weekend and we both feel a bit scared. What if the person doesn't like Jboy? What if Jboy doesn't like the person? M said...who will we be if we are not caring for the Boy????? It is scarily thrilling. It is weird, worrying and yet wonderful all at the same time.  I have heard of life described as a 'saw-toothed' walk (...with all those ups and downs...and possibly sharp edges) and it feels like that at the moment.We are both up and down ,minute by minute. I am SO thrilled to have the prospect of help  but also terrified at the same time....weird, eh??? (No pleasing some people) (I AM pleased..just a bit timid/tremulous..and also a smidge terrified!!!) I know, I will get used to it..the first step is the hardest and all that....gulp.
The End.....(oh no it isn't!!)