Saturday, 16 January 2016

masks

So...masks that we wear...many of us wear metaphorical masks to hide the truth of what we feel. I wonder why we do this...is it because we are afraid of what others might think? Is it because we are afraid that if we show how we really are, we will break into a million pieces? Is it because , by wearing a mask, we are denying the truth of how we feel and can therefore ignore it, pretending that it isn't true??  Is it like a helmet of defence because the truth is too painful? Or is it all these things and more? Or none?? I think it depends largely on the person and the situation but it is true that many of us wear masks. Maybe not all the time , and maybe not all of us,but certainly  some of us do for some of the time.  Jboy ,however,does not. He does not pretend. He is as he is. If he is cross, he will throw things or try to de-hairyify my head. If he is sad, he will cry those silent tears or fold himself in half and hide his face. If he is happy, he laughs like a drain. If he is content, he is still and quiet. If he is agitated he will rush around like a bee in a jar. What you see, is what you get. Maybe he is able to be whatever he is feeling because he does not have the mental sophistication to be anything else. I know there have been many times when people have asked me how I am, and I reply with that old pat answer,"Fine thanks...how are you?". Sometimes this is protecting me. Sometimes this is protecting the person who asked me. Jboy can't do that either. He can't think outside of himself and his own needs/desires/feelings. His developmental stage is stuck at about 18months.  I find I wear fewer masks these days so, if you see me and ask me how I am, be prepared to be told!!
The End
P.S. I find actual real masks really scary.....no masked ball for me!!!!