Saturday, 23 January 2016

reality check.....

So...for the first time ever M and I are wondering how much longer we can go on looking after Jboy at home. He has been away a week and we have somehow, during that week, become ourselves again. Today, day 1 of him being home, has been SO hard. I am normally a fairly positive , half full glass sort of person but today I feel worn out. Worn down. Not just emotionally but physically too..Jboy has a tendency to push down hard on my head and after a while I get terrible headaches, neck ache and all sorts of other aches too. This is all the more apparent after a week without him. By Thursday we were both feeling rested and the aches and pains associated with Jboy care had largely now he is home and wrestling us with a vengeance, we are wondering how much longer we can do this. He has been a refusnik extraordinaire. He has walked us into the ground, going round and round our little town and whilst at home he has been throwing and pulling and generally destroying our home....... BUT even the thought of him being somewhere else sends us in to paroxysms of anxiety and doubt. No one would love him like we do. Or cuddle him when he needs it. Or anticipate his needs quite like we do. It would be an agony. How could we do it? One day we might have to face the reality that we can no longer cope. That thought makes my insides curl up in a tight  hard ball but it is a reality that I guess we should face.
But not right now.
Not today.
Not now.
The End....look at that face!!!!!!! lovely boy........butter wouldn't melt etc etc etc

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