Thursday, 17 March 2016

not quite so cheery....

So...yesterday I had one of 'those' days...those days when you feel rubbish, and inadequate, you feel a bit of a failure, a bit useless. Don't know why but I guess a person can't be jolly ALL the time! Well, this person can't...and what is the point in pretending I can. None!! no point at all.  I don't know where it came from..possibly the grinding relentlessness of having to find nutritious and suitable food for a chap with a gut as sensitive as a sensitive thing (sorry, couldn't think of a sensitive analogy...). How can I serve his potato today??? And what can I add to make it edible for him and tasty ......aaargh!!! He clearly finds it boring too as he often can be seen, little pointy fingers poised to dig in to my dinner which looks much more interesting. He would eat anything but can't!  Anyway, I found something to keep him fed and fuelled but the 'I'm such a rubbish mother' feeling lasted well into the evening.  I think it didn't help that the local medical centre contacted me.The government has introduced a system whereby all adults with learning difficulties are offered a health check once a year. The Nurse from the medical centre offered me some dates to take Jboy to the Medical Centre for said check. I tried to explain that I wouldn't be able to get him in the building, let alone in to see a doctor who might then require him to wee into a bottle (like THAT is going to happen) and have his blood pressure taken etc. The system is a fab idea but the practicalities of getting someone like my Boy there face impossible odds. I tried to explain all this to the lovely nurse who clearly had NO idea about Jboy at all and asked me to ask his opinion....I explained that he has the mental capacity of a very small chap. She sounded most bewildered. I suggested that they come here or go to the Most Marvellous Day Centre..surely he can't be the only one for whom this is a problem?????? Lovely as she was, the nurse did make me feel as if I 'should' be able to get him there....she suggested driving him down until I told her that I can't actually get him IN the car....yes, on reflection this is what added to my feelings of rubbishness.  Today I am feeling stronger and back to my TigerMother self...We all have 'off' days and THAT IS OK. I need to remember that! 
The End