Tuesday, 29 March 2016

streams of consciousness

So..here we are, post Easter break. Jboy was not happy with four whole days without any structured routine. Yesterday he went around carrying his MMDC bag and was very cross when we said it was not a MMDC day. Today, when the Right Bus arrived, it was the Wrong Driver and the Wrong Escort so Jboy almost refused to get on..but then I think he realised that if he didn't, it would mean another boring day with the parents, so he did! Sighs of relief all round!

I realise that my posts sometimes seem to contradict each other...one day I need all the help possible and another, I am saying calmly that this is my life and I just need to get on with it. Both are true. Some days I need all the help possible. Some days I am able to get on with it, calmly and phlegmatically. (Aside, it's funny/weird how some words are just ...well.... ugly..like phlegmatic).Doesn't everybody have days when they can and days when they can't?? Or is it just me???  I don't mean to bewilder and confuse..I suppose that these jottings of mine are really more streams of my consciousness than coherent, consistent accounts. I started writing them as a means of venting and explaining to an invisible world about my boy, our frustrations and joys, It is  means to keep me sane in a world in which I sometimes feel I am becoming increasingly insane.  How many times can a person watch Shaun the Sheep without a little bit of madness creeping in???? How many nights can a person manage on minimal sleep before reality starts to be a bit blurry???
Life is a constant challenge(not just to us but for many many people) and some days I feel I can climb that particular mountain. Some days I just want to lie in a heap at the bottom.  I KNOW that there are far worse things in this world and people with FAR greater problems/challenges than we have to face. But I can't write about them. I am not them. I can only climb MY mountain.
So I shall continue to stream my consciousness and people are free to read it or not...if it keeps me as bit sane then I need to do it (for me), but no one needs to read it. You have permission never to darken this blogette again!!
FYI:Today I am skipping along the mountain path..just call me Heidi!! Yodel..ay..ee